Night Cuddles

8. Till death do us part

I feel myself zone out as we look at the beautiful night sky, my mind empty, my heart beating fast.
Stars are scattered beautifully on the dark blue sky, all of them shining brightly.

My hand is linked into his' as his head rests on my shoulder and we sit in silence on the sofa bed we placed on our terrace.
Its quiet, almost too quiet and the air is filled with fear.

We haven't spoken since we sat here, engulfing ourselves in the silence, as if it's too delicate to break.
As if, if we speak, the words could break the moment and after that it would all just be...gone.

There's a blanket on us, it's a little worn out as I can see its actual baby blue color fade into a little gray at some parts.
His left hand is linked into mine and his right is playing with a thread on the blanket aimlessly.

"I love you" I hear him softly whisper and my eyes brim with tears.
"I love you" I sniffled, tightening my grip on his hands.

His thumb rubs my hand as tears slowly flow down my cheeks. We aren't looking at each other but I can feel him tear up too.

The silence is broken. That moment we were so carefully trying to save by starting at the sky is now gone.

The sky doesn't look beautiful anymore, it looks heartbreaking.
"People turn into stars after they die"
It's not really sensible but it does make me feel better to think that.

The sky turned sad because in some time, he'll be a star too.

He'll be gone.

His bright smile which made his deep brown eyes shine and squint while the dimple on his left cheek showed it’s presence when he laughed too hard.

His habit of touching his black locks every fifteen minutes.
The way his face expresses too much in a comical way when he's comfortable in front of someone; his eyes wide and excited while his hands do weird gestures.

The way he always kisses my hand right as we link them together. Always.

The way he likes to touch our foreheads when we lean into each other while sitting side my side
His habit of crinkling his nose when he finds something I do cute.

His I love you’s.

His scent.
His touch.
His presence.
Him.
Everything will be gone and all I'll have would be memories.

He doesn't have much time left. His body is drained and tired.

The wind blows and I move to tuck him tighter into his blanket, finally taking a look at him as I do so.

His face isn't as lively as it used to be, but his eyes are looking at me with such emotion that I feel my throat tighten.

"I can feel it." he whispers as a tear scrolls down his cheek.
Then another. Then another.

I feel numb. As if this is too scary to be real.

I have no words left in me as lean into him and give him a soft peck on the lips.

"I love you" I whisper. "I love you so much" I sob out.

His hand cups my cheek and mine do the same with his', our foreheads touch and now we're just crying.

Our breaths get caught up again and again as we cry our hearts out, holding each other.

"I don't wanna leave you" he whispers.

"I'll be okay love, it's okay. I love you. You did your best, I’m proud of you."

He pulls back as his eyes bore into mine, his breathing heavy, "I wish we had more time, I wish I never had to leave you." his fingers caress my cheeks.

"But I'm so thankful for the moments we've had, our precious memories which made my life so so beautiful. I’m so happy right now. I’m so happy I spent my life with you.” tears flow down our cheeks, “I’m so grateful to have woke up every day with you by my side, always. To have fought through life with your hand in mine. And even though I don't want to leave you, you’ll be okay, I love you."

My sobs get uncontrollable as I engulf him into a hug, my head resting on his chest, I can feel his heart beating fast.

"I’m always here, just close your eyes and feel me kiss your head.” He pecks my forehead. “I’m always here with you. Always.  Promise me to never give up and promise me to be always happy. I love you."

"I promise I'll try" I look up to his face, his delicate features look beautiful in the moonlight.

"That's enough for now." He smiles and my heart skips a beat at his beautiful smile, still my eyes deny stopping the waterworks.

He runs his fingers through my hair as my hands refuse to let go of his body that is still engulfed with me into a hug.

He kisses my forehead and smiles again before moving to my lips, the kiss is delicate, afraid...terrified even. It's filled with love, promises, memories and fear.

The fear of letting go. The fear of the end.

We kiss a little longer and then finally pull away.
"Till death do us part" he attempts to lighten the mood with a smile.

I smile back but my eyes betray me for the thousandth time tonight.

We get back to our normal position, our arms and hands linked as his head rests on my shoulder.

"I'm tired" he whispers, scared. His throat his caught up from the crying.

"It's okay love, you should rest" Tears pour down my cheeks, my voice shaky.

"I love you" he says and closes his eyes, pressing his body more into mine.

"I love you more" I kiss his head and smile softly.

"Not possible" He whispers.

I’ll miss him saying those three words to me.

My eyes dart to the pen drive on the table in front of us, he made some clips for me that are in there, I cry even harder as I think of how grateful I am that he thought of doing that.

His hold on my arm tightens, giving me a little comfort.

My heart hurts as I hear him fall asleep.
My safe person, my safe place.

His light snores filling the silence and my ears listening to them very attentively.
It absolutely feels like I'm being stabbed as I aimlessly stare at the sky, feeling him going away from me every breath he takes.

Every time his snoring gets quiet, my heart stops until the sound fills my ears again, making me let out a sigh.

And finally, it happens. My heart sinks, my tears flow down faster, my mouth hangs open with a light gasp and my throat feels closed.

A piece of me dies; I hear nothing.

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Okay so I saw a post saying “if you wrote a book and the love interest was dying in the main characters arms, what would they say” which made me pick up my laptop at 5am and write this.

I didn’t give any names to the characters as I didn’t feel like I needed to. I wanted the emotions to wrap up this story instead.
It’s a first draft so it’s kind of shabby ig.

And no, idk why he died.

Don't forget to feed peanut!!

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(0.0) - hellow

/)....)

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