Can We Please Normalize Having Funny Villains?

Title Doesn't Fit!!!!

Can We Please Normalize Having Funny Villains? and Having Villains Who Get To Explain Themselves? Oh and Let's Normalize Having Super Long Titles.

You know those super dramatic stories that drag on forever and the whole time you're reading it you're saying to yourself, "Oh, come on! The bad guy got away again!? Just kill em' already!" Yeah well, this story is nothing like that because my antagonist had a gun and knew how to aim.

I guess you could say that I'm the villain BUT I'm the main character so I still get to be the protagonist even if my morals are a little screwed up. Now, the antagonist of this story is named Ezra. I didn't start out as the villain though. It just kinda happened. Despite how screwed up this story is and how many bad things I did I'm still going to tell you the whole story because I think you should still get to know the whole truth, and not to come up with excuses or anything but most if not all of the bad things I did, I did them for a reason.

So there I was. Standing face to face with the enemy. The wind was blowing through my hair really making me look amazing kinda like some super cool princess you know? Anyways I had her cornered at the edge of a cliff. There was no way I couldn't win right? Wrong. I held out my hand awaiting the ring that I'd been hunting for ages. My best friend gave it to me. I of course just thought it was beautiful and he gave it to me because he loved me. What I didn't know was what it could do. What I could do. I never knew what was hidden in the cracks of this world. A world I used to believe was boring. Filled with sadness and part-time jobs. Once I received this ring it was like my eyes were opened. I could see what the world was. It's filled with magic and madness. I am part of the magic. Perhaps a little madness but that's beyond my point.

So yeah basically this ring is super special and important to me. Especially since the boy who gave it to me years ago is dead. Like dead dead. Like never coming back dead. But never only means never if you believe it. Right? If I could just get this ring back I could maybe just maybe bring him back. But his stupid daughter, Ezra seems to think she can have this ring for herself. She never liked me. I honestly have no idea why she could hate me. I'm sorta really really cool. And awesome. And pretty. I guess if I had to think of a reason she might hate me it could be that she thinks her mother's death is my fault, but how on earth could it be my fault? Well, she thinks that I should have been able to save her. Her mother fell off a cliff and I was in the woods when it happened. Yes, technically I could have saved her if I was there. And yes technically if I had come running when I heard her scream for me I would have made it in time. But she's so dramatic she is always screaming for help when she doesn't need it. How was I supposed to know she really needed help this time. The boy who cried wolf, am I right? So I was in the woods when I heard her scream for me. Naturally, I sauntered over to her because I'm not going to run to her just to find out she was flipping out over a spider again. When I finally got to the cliff she was leaning over the edge. I looked over to see what she was looking at. Her mother was holding onto a branch trying not to fall off. I was joking around with her. Pretending like I wasn't going to help. I tried to tease her by walking away when her mother fell and yeah I think you can piece the rest together.

So anyway back to my story. I stood with my hand out. Ezra looked down and then backed up to me. She put her index and middle finger to her brow and saluted to me. I was confused at first but then she jumped off the cliff backwards. That girl has guts. It was kinda poetic that she would die the same way as her mother but she, unfortunately, took the ring with her when she jumped. I crossed my fingers and held them above my head.

" Please, please, please tell me you died from that." I opened my eyes and I realized where it was shut tight. I slowly walked to the edge of the cliff only to realize that the girl landed in a body of water. I knew that she would never have the guts to jump off a cliff if she was going to land on something like rocks. Maybe she can't swim. I thought to myself. No such luck. Ezra is a great swimmer. I should know I taught her with her mother and father when she was just a little kid. She actually, when I think of it, didn't hate me back then. She actually liked me better than Amara (her mother) and Faris (her father). My best buddy.