It stings. He’s on the bathroom floor with the door closed behind him, repeating the same motions. Scratch, stop, breathe, repeat, until he can’t take the feeling any longer. Mayoi just lightly puts his hand on top of the gash, and immediately winces from the pain. That’s definitely gonna hurt like hell for awhile. He figured this was the best way to cause himself pain, without the others having to know. No blood, just scraping away at skin until it hurts too much to continue with. It leaves a pretty obvious scar for a bit after it heals, but he’s learned to cover that with his gloves or bandages.
Mayoi gets a wave of guilt every time he does this- it’s like resetting all of the work he’s done with the rest of the unit because he can’t get his brain to calm down. Such a disappointment. He can just imagine the scolding he’d get from Tatsumi if he found out. He should crawl back into the vents and be left for dead, not able to drag down their unit with him. He’s such a mess, a truly-
The click of his dorm room opening pulls him out of his thoughts, almost tripping over his own feet trying to stand up and compose himself. He subconsciously wipes the tears away from his cheeks, unaware he had been crying in the first place. Mayoi was about to open the door when he realized... shit, the mark. He left the black leather gloves he always wears on his dresser. Bandages! He forgot he just bought a new roll. He didn’t like using bandaids. They feel weird and sticky and fall off easily. Mayoi makes quick work of wrapping the bandage around his hand, when he hears a knock at the bathroom door.
“Mayoi-san, are you in there?” a familiar voice is heard through the door, and it makes Mayoi’s heart jump. Tatsumi.. “I can come back later, if so.”
The door swings open and Mayoi basically falls into Tatsumi’s arms, surprising the other and almost causing him to lose his balance. Mayoi can feel warm hands wrap around him and balancing the two of them, but not daring to look up at him, out of shame.
“Tsumi.. Please forgive me for running into you so suddenly- you’re going to get dirty if you keep holding onto me like this..!” Mayoi pulls back, trying to put distance between himself and Tatsumi, but he feels the grip on him get tighter, and then a gentle hand grabbing his chin and tilting his head up to look at Tatsumi.
“Mayoi-san. Didn’t we talk about this? You..” Tatsumi’s words trail off as he watches Mayoi’s eyes dart from him, to the dresser, and back again, as if trying to will whatever was so important on that dresser over to him. “..should we sit down?”
Mayoi whimpers, and Tatsumi lets out a sigh, bringing both of them over to the bed so they can sit together. He watches as Mayoi sets his hands in his lap, and immediately takes them away… were those bandages? Oh. He was wondering what Mayoi was looking at so nervously.
“Can you show me your hands? Please?” Tatsumi asks, and the question makes Mayoi tense up almost immediately. He can’t let someone he holds so dearly see the mess he’s made of himself. It’ll surely scare him away, and then he’ll hate Mayoi, and he’ll tell Hiiro and Aira, and they’ll hate him too, and- he can feel those hot tears pricking at his eyes again. He was thinking of running, and not turning back, but he feels a warm hand rubbing comforting circles into his back. After however much longer- to Mayoi it felt like hours, he hesitantly brings the bandaged hand up to show Tatsumi. Concern is etched into his features. Mayoi looks to the side when he feels the bandages start to unwrap, afraid of being judged or chastised or-
He feels his hand being turned over, and then… a kiss to his palm? Wait- what? Did that happen, or is Mayoi’s perverted mind twisting the situation? He looks up to see that Tatsumi did in fact kiss his hand, and that his lips are still lingering there. Mayoi finds himself speechless. Why isn’t he mad, or saying how disappointed he is?
“Ah.. I’m sorry, Mayoi-san. You have beautiful hands. I couldn’t help myself,” Tatsumi explains, guiding Mayoi’s hand down to his knee. Before this, Mayoi’s body was cold with anxiety, but now he’s.. Overwhelmingly warm. “Would you like me to grab those gloves over there? You don’t have to m-”
Tatsumi is cut off by the sound of Mayoi groaning and wrapping his arms around his waist. He was tired, and he honestly just wanted to rest- but he wanted to stay with Tatsumi for a bit longer.
“Tatsumi.. I’m sorry for propositioning doing something like this with a disgusting creature like myself, but…” Mayoi thinks of a good way to say this, feeling his cheeks flare up with a blush. “..could you... l-lay… ahh, nevermind, please forgive me for asking something so vile-!”
In a quick movement, the two of them are both pulled down onto the bed, positioning themselves so that Mayoi has his head against Tatsumi’s chest, being able to feel his rapid heartbeat.
“Please don’t be afraid to ask me for comfort, dear.”
..Dear?
