Potentially Triggering Material: Mentions of getting shot
the alarm went off and cam stirred a bit but didn't wake up so i turned it off and decided to let her sleep for a few more minutes before we get ready for work. i went downstairs to start making coffee and breakfast. when i went back up to wake up cam she wasn't in bed anymore and i kept hearing sniffling coming from the bathroom. i knocked on the door but she didn't answer. "cam? you okay babe." she opened the door and her eyes were red from crying. she wouldn't look me in eyes at all. "what's wrong? is this about last night?" she nodded her head. "you wanna talk about it? you don't have to though"
"um- uh it was the same dream as always and um y- you were in the dream and uh instead of her taking me it was you instead and instead of me waking up before she pulled the trigger she did. and you were dead and that's when i woke up."
i just stood there like an idiot staring at her. i didn't know what to say. i reached in to give her a hug but she moved back like she was afraid to touch me. she looked down and tears started to well in her eyes. "i'm sorry" she said, her voice cracking. "hey, you don't need to apologize. okay?"
"okay"
"you don't have to go into work today if you don't want to. you need a break plus we don't have case today. if one comes up then i'll call you and you can work with garcia."
"em, i want to work it's fine. if something's wrong i'll tell you."
"okay but promise to let me know if you aren't feeling up for it."
"i promise i'll tell you."
"thank you, now get ready we have to be to work in 20 minutes.
i kept looking over at cam and she looked sad. i didn't mention it because i didn't want her to get upset. she turned to look at me and she had a puzzled look on her face. "what's up cam?"
"what was it you were going to say last night. you said it was nothing but i was just curious."
"it really was nothing. in all honesty i forgot what i was gonna say." she didn't seem convinced but left it alone. the truth was i was going to tell her that i liked her but i got too nervous. what if she didn't like me back and i messed everything up.
we pulled up to the bau after stopping for coffee and cam let out a deep sigh and got out of the car. i got out soon after and caught up with her and we got in the elevator.
"are you sure you're okay"
"em I'm fine just leave it alone okay."
"okay" she looked down and bit her lip so hard it almost started bleeding. she did that a lot when she was uncomfortable.
when the elevator stopped she rushed off towards the bathroom. i followed her soon after and said heard her mumbling. from what i heard she was calling herself an idiot and that she always messed everything up.
"Cam" i heard her scrambling to clean herself up and she came out of the stall. her face was red and her eyes were hazy from the tears threatening to leave them. "you aren't an idiot and you don't mess everything up. i get that you aren't doing well, but you need to talk to me."
" i know it's just- i- i don't want you to think there's something wrong with me." she started biting her lip again and wouldn't look at me. "nothing is wrong with asking for help when you need it and i will never think anything is wrong with you. ever." she looked up at me with tears streaming down her face. i wiped them off of her cheeks. i kept staring into her eyes and i looked down at her lips and her bottom lip was bleeding from her biting it so much. "cam, your bleeding"
"what?" she touched her lip and there was blood on her finger. "damn it, um it's fine. we should get to work though."
