The days have blended together; it's no longer clear whether it's Monday or Friday. Weekends cease to exist for a new parent, especially if you're going at it alone like me.
The initial weeks at home with a newborn were as expected: a mix of crying and sleeping, with thankfully more of the latter. My son was remarkably peaceful from the start, crying only when he needed changing or feeding, otherwise content in my arms. He would wake every few hours. Carving out time for myself—to sleep, eat, shower, or even just to use the bathroom—became an almost insurmountable challenge, sometimes due to the baby's needs, other times due to my own anxiety about leaving him alone, haunted by the fear that something terrible might happen.
Despite the stress and frustration, it has all been worthwhile as I observe his growth and transformation. Every day, I witness him learning something new, and now, at two months old, he is beginning to smile.
That first smile was truly special, and even better, it was meant for me!
Speaking to him in that adorable baby voice, he beamed from ear to ear, his charming dimples on full display. My heart soared, and I was filled with an immense sense of pride for my boy. I'm eagerly anticipating the day I hear his laughter!
It's astonishing to consider that this tiny little bean will one day be a grown man. A man with a broad array of likes and interests, with a family of his own, and hopefully, a man who thrives in life. All I can ever hope for this child is the best.
Ebenezer, I vow to strive to be the parent you deserve, ensuring you grow into someone you are proud to be. I hope you can be patient with me at times, as I'm still learning to grow in some ways, just as you are growing up.
I can't promise that our life will always be sunshine and rainbows; everyone struggles. My parents have had their rough patches, but I know they love me and that they've tried. They continue to try to this day, even though their children are grown. And I will work tirelessly, as they have, to make you proud to call me mom one day.
