I'm here with an update on what I'm going to do and I'd like to share a few things with you, this is more like a vent. 8th grade hasn't been going good for me so far and it's only the 4th week. I feel like I'm drowning in this massive body of water like I don't know how to swim anymore. I've already been in multiple types and many people already have a crush on me, that's just to much for me at the moment.
I wish I could tell them at school my story like they tell theirs but I can't, something is holding me back. I can't tell them about my su!c!de attempts because they'll make fun of me or call me crazy again or most likely a psychopath once more. I'm not very welcomed at my school. I have a group of "friends" but most of the time they ignore me.
I also have body dysmorphia which makes everything so much worse and here recently it's been horrible. People tell me I need to eat but I can't. I can't even stand the site of food anymore I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror.
I believe su!c!de won't be the death of me but low blood sugar will be. In less than a month my blood sugar has dropped so low that I'm on the ground with no vision this has happen 5 times.
If I could honestly hang myself I would but I can't. I enjoy writing and making edits even after my account on tiktok got banned. Dancing is my other passion along with art. I'm good at math. I've been trying not to cut myself but it's tempting with the thing I use sitting in my room.
I was going to overdose a week or 2 ago but my mother found out and got mad. Sometimes I'm glad I didn't but other I'm not.
Sometimes life just sucks and you need to move on. I'm honestly just tired mentally and physically.
I might start a new book soon.. Thank you all for the support in this wonderful messed up book journey! Take care everyone
