Wed or Dead

XXXVII

"Kids? You mean the brats we have at home. They're alright I guess" he said calmly, taking a sip of his red wine. Sparks of amusement appeared in his eyes.

"No, I mean kids in general" Eliana was digging my own grave. How can she end this conversation? Shit.

"I don't think about kids in general so I don't have any opinion about them," he said in a neutral voice.

"You never had any thoughts about being a father?"

I need to shut up. What am I talking about? Why am I asking him this?

"Where is this coming from?" Now he was starting to get defensive, shit.

"I'm just curious. Since we're being honest with each other" Eliana said quickly trying to calm her breathing.

It took Rafael a moment to answer. He was serious now.

"I wanted family once. But ever since Sofia died things changed. I can't just bring vulnerable people into my life and hope for the best. That kid and their mother would be always in danger simply because of their connection to me. I don't think I can bear losing anyone, I don't know what I would do if had to come to another funeral of an innocent person who died too soon"

Okay, now she definitely can't tell him.

If Rafael was a normal person she would tell him about the pregnancy. But somehow she knew that the moment she tells him she will lose control of the situation. This is why the words I'm pregnant couldn't pass through her mouth.

"What about you?" Rafael asked.

"What about me?" Elianaasked dumbly. She was still processing what he said about his sister. Sofie's death had so much impact on his life. It was painful to hear about it.

"Do you want to have kids?"

"No"

Was Eliana lying to him or herself? No. She wasn't lying. She definitely didn't want kids.

"Why?"

"I barely can take care of myself. I was failing at taking care of Casey"

"You're too harsh for yourself. After Casey's parents died you were left completely alone and you still had enough strength to start fighting for custody. You definitely did not fail of taking care of Casey. Don't say that Eliana"

She ignored his words as if they couldn't stick in her brain. She felt too much guilt, she couldn't acknowledge that he might be right.

"Besides," he said as his brows furrowed "Why are you speaking as if you had to take care of that child alone? It would have a hypothetical father"

"Because of Harvey and Ethan, I have trust issues to put it gently. How can I be sure this person will want to stay with me? Or won't leave me eventually?"

"There's something I've been planning to talk to you about for a while" Rafael said changing the topic.

"What is it?" Eliana asked my anxiety spiked again.

"It's about a deal we've made. Protection in exchange of your company shares"

"What about it?"

"Some things have changed, don't you think?"

Okay smile on Rafael's face made him even more handsome, Eliana wasn't sure how was that possible with him looking pretty amazing already. Okay, wow, Eliana - focus. 

"What changed?"

He looked at me and his eyes became unnaturally gentle after he saw how nervous she am.

"Don't you think that after the wedding our relationship changed?"

"I barely remember anything from that night," I said drily.

"But you do remember that we slept together"

"More... or less," I said feeling uneasy.

"Christ" Rafael sighted and his palm went straight to his forehead.

"We were both a little drunk that night," I said feeling defensive. "It meant nothing"

"Good to know" his voice grew colder.

"What do you expect from me, Rafael? It was a mistake that won't repeat itself. I felt attracted to you at that specific point in time. That's all but it passed a moment of weakness"

"So what I was just your fucktoy for one night" he summed up, offended.

"If you feel satisfied with this description" she tried to sound cold, but Eliana just wasn't this sort of a person, and Rafael knew it very well. 

"I do not feel satisfied. Do you know what I think Eliana?" he asked, getting closer to her. 

"You're going to tell me anyway" she deadpanned. 

"I think you're lying" 

He was right. But I couldn't admit it. Not now.

"It's been two weeks ago why are you bringing it up now?"

"Because I needed time to think about it and you weren't speaking about it either. And after you have been attacked by that man I realized that I hate to see you hurt not because of all our deal but because-"

"Stop. Can we change the topic?"

"Sure" he agreed easily "I'm just not sure if you will like the topic I have to propose"

"Oh my God. What is it now?"

"It's about your job. You're no longer working there"

I blinked twice then said, very calmly

"Excuse me?" A fork fell out of my hands. "What do you mean?" Eliana asked angrily.

"Night shifts are dangerous and Giovanni has already reported to me a few instances where you have been verbally harassed. It's my job to ensure you're safe and that job wasn't safe"

"Rafael, what the hell!" Eliana yelled angrily. 

"Relax, I have some job offers for you to choose from" 

That didn't relax her, that made her angrier. 

"What?" 

"A few that might suit you"

"You can't control me"

"I beg to differ"

"But I don't want to change my job"

"I'm not giving you a choice"

"Job as your assistant?" Eliana said looking at the proposals. "Forget it. I don't want to work for you"

"Noted" Rafael said drily. If she offended him - good.

"You owe a clothing store? How many businesses do you have? " Eliana shooked her head looking at the job offers.

"Quite a lot, but this one does not belong to me. My friend is hiring and I will let him know you're interested. I figured you would like an offer where I won't be your boss, at least at work" he smirked.

"Hey!"

How to finish lunch in peace with a guy like him sitting in front of her??

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Dear Readers,

Let me know what you think about Eliana, Rafael and their relationship. ❤️