Alright, first thing's first. I am Silver Spawn. No, it is not my real name. No, i wont ever tell yu my real name. You will just never know. Sorry if i come off as incredibly hostile. I am. Cant help it. But this "book" is really more of a diary. Its the place where im going to store my deepest, darkest thoughts, confess to my shameful actions, and write about things that i cant tell anyone i know for fear of ruining their image of me.
So. A bit about me. I am female. Silver eyes, blond hair. Not fat or overweight, but not particularly athletic either. Thats appearance-wise.
People know me as a straight-a student. A bookworm. Always respectful to my elders. Into musical theater, even. They know i have a darker side. They have just been fortunate enough to witness it once and only once.
In actuality,
I am a lying, cheating, egotistic bitch with commitment issues. I cant commit to a sport, much less a person. Believe me, i have regrets in my relationships. But thats for later.
So. You dont believe im as bad as i say i am. You will once you read more chapters.
I sometimes think more than i should. When this happens, i occasionally come to some brief enlightenment that leaves me woth some philosophical understanding of human behavior.
I have this friend whos 2 years older than me. His name will be changed of course, but lets call him Al. Now "Al" is kind of a douchebag, but we are still kind-of-friends. When we originally met he wanted to be fuckbuddies, but i was like UM NO THANKS im cool. Anyway, we became kindoffriends and in the halls at my high school, he once saw me and said "look silver. See all these people? Sheep. Theyre all SHEEP!" Of course he was joking around and being the condescending asshole he always is, but that accusation stuck in my head.
Weeks, no, months later, i was in p.e. Class and at the end of the day students have to wait for the changing room/locker room to be unlocked so we can get out of our putrid uniforms. Well, rather than lining up or whatever we just kind of mob in frint od the door until a coach comes and parts us like the sea. Once the door is unlocked we push and shove our way in to change.
Well, on this day, as we began the ritual of bouncing off of each other and the door frame to get inside, i had an emotional shock. I legitimately cried. I was like " oh. God. We are. We are sheep. Every one of us. We follow their class schedules. We wear THEIR uniforms. We change in the 5 minutes THEY give us, rush out to buses THEY provide so THEY can get out of that fucking shithole because we know if we dont we'll be stuck there for god knows how long. Who are THEY? the shepards, of course.
