hey
so guys this is my first story and im not sure how its going to turn out so i would appriciate any comments on how i can improve the story, i no the first chapter isint much but hopefully it will get better,
no copyright intendid
so on that note here is the first chapter
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It was dusk in the city of Vestorep; on the outskirts of this city was the forest where no sane man would ever enter under any circumstances, if you to venture into this very forest this very night you would see two young elves running for their lives.
Kahlan's point of view;
As I came to a halt in the clearing many of miles away from the city, I waited for my brother to catch me up. I caught my reflection in the waters edge and I couldn't believe how much of a mess I looked, my hair was all over the place. It was as wild as the wind, instead of my usual electric blue hair cascading down my back. My curls had lost their volume as well as their bounce and were lying lifeless across my chest and back. My eyes were blood shot due to lack of sleep instead of their usual hazel with hints of green, my tanned skin didn't seem as vibrant but seemed a lot paler as we have been shielded from the sun for many days. As Averin came to a halt he spoke directly to me as if we were surrounded by many people;
"We should be safe here tonight and we can carry on in the morning..."
Averin's point of view;
After I bent down to the water's edge and helped myself a drink, I tried unsuccessfully to remove all the twigs and leaves from my blood red hair, I heard my sister lighting the fire so we could set up camp for the night. I heard rustling above us and both me and Kahlan were on edge, Kahlan's bow drawn a ready to fire, I swear that bow is true to its aim and my sword out of its scar bad...
We waited for an attack that never came, the only thing that did was my dragon, Pythagoras.
Kahlan's point of view;
You and your bleeding dragon, "Well don't just stand there, Averin! Help me gather more fire wood or catch a couple of fish, which could be helpful. Not looking like a love sick puppy that does no good to anyone."
" Will you just stop criticising for a moment, Kahlan and just calm down?"
" Sorry, bro... it's part of the job description."
Averin poked his tongue out at me while picking up his spear to catch us dinner. How childish. I couldn't help but mutter. After a some what sustainable meal, I set up to go to sleep while Averin set up watch.
..................................................................................................................................................................................... ................................................................................................................................................................................. so that was the first chapter please comment and vote
