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His Mind

                            ⚠️Warning ⚠️

Tomioka always had thoughts that never felt like his. They made him feel insane, like he needed to be in a hospital, maybe the people from his town were right. If they were it would be to late he had committed he, probably shouldn't have. He's not worthy of the pillar position but he wouldn't complain and he would do this job until he died, sooner would be more helpful but he will not do it himself, that would be a useless death and he will be as useful as he can.

The voice told him to do things like intuitive thoughts but far worse. He's had these sense his sister died it just never went away he told the people of his village all they did was give him more meds they never helped, the voice would never go away.  They already thought he was insane this didn't help so he wouldn't tell anyone again. Live and learn in a twisted sort of way, he was used to adapting.

The voice was getting annoying, and  at this point it was getting way louder then it's ever been. It was like yelling in his head. Just saying the same things over and over again. To kill himself, or to go to the woods to kill other people and to kill his fellow hashira though he doesn't believe himself to worthy of the position, water pillar, it wasn't his place.

Today was the pillar meeting they had some sort of mental health check up. He should skip but he can't look suspicious though no one would care. And it's not like they can see what's in his head.(...) He would go and lie and get it over with. His mental state didn't matter when it came to his ability to fight so, it didn't matter to him or anyone else.

After feeding his crow he started walking to the masters estate for the meeting. His crow didn't want to fly so it just sat on his head the entire way taking naps till they got there.

He got there on time and went to his corner to say out off everyone's way. He didn't want to be a bother. When everyone had gotten there he noticed that they were staring at him when he realized his crow was still napping on his head. He woke up said crow and carried him to where the other crows were and set him down. He would treat his crow with as much respect as any person because he had served the past water hashira well and he will continue to serve Giyuu for as long as it pleases.

The other hashira looked at him differently probably for showing a sort of soft spot for the bird but continued on with their conversations until the master came.

The master descused the updates on Muzan and about the successful missions the hashira had. After the mission talk he decided it was time for the check.

"Now my children I know this will sound unexpected and my cause you to be uneasy but you must Lito me all the way through first, can you all agree to do that." All of the pillars agreed without question and paid attention to what he had to say. "Now I have Kanho here to assist in an event that something happens. We have a demon that we have captured that has a special kind of blood bemoan art. They have the ability to see into other peoples minds and take people into a persons mind. They have agreed to do the check for me. Because I cannot see you will be the judge off what the other needs."

The hashira were quite no one was going to judge or question the masters disposition so they all agreed. They had chosen the order in which they would go. First was Uzui, then Renkoku, next would be Shinobu, Obanai would be fourth, Mitsuri fifth, Muichiro after, then Sanemi, Himejima eighth, and last Tomioka.

He was getting a little nervous now. They would call him crazy and lock him up or send him away, call him useless and tell him that it was all his fault. Maybe his old village was right, maybe he should have let them send him away.

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It was about to be Tomiokas turn and he was now very stressed out. The others ended as expected no where near perfect and there was a hint of self hatred but nothing to bad it was something they could fix with time and learn to forgive themselves Tomioka was glad, he was happy for them in a way, they had a way to not end up like him.

It was his turn and he didn't want to do it but he would not be a coward, he would face his mistakes and he would probably pay a mental price for it but he would kill him self that would be a useless death.

Well he was now being taken fully inside his mind with eight other people watching him in his own little war. They would be watching him from inside a little box where they would sit or stand and just watch him relieve his life from the miserable age of 3 to his age of 19 what a sad little life he's led.

He's three in this memory his mom and dad are fighting about something, probably his drinking problem. When his father bursts into his room and drags him outside and locks him out there for the night and probably tomorrow. He got comfortable on the grass floor and started counting the stars till he fell asleep.

When he woke up he was 5 and his parents were fighting about his mother not cleaning because she had also started drinking to help with the headache that his father gave her, when his mother came and dragged him by his hair to their kitchen grabbed a knife and cut his hand started dripping his blood all over the floor then his dad came running in and started yelling at both of them for making a mess. That's all he was. He was a tool. To be used as a punching bag or a tool for his parents fights. He got thrown back into his room and he fell asleep after wrapping his hand.

When he woke up he was 6 and his sister was coming home he hadn't seen her in about a year and he couldn't wait, she was always nice to him. He would have to come up with an excuse for all the cuts and bruises he had and a good one to cover for the black eye and large gash on his forearm. He started to clean himself then his room the guest room living room and kitchen he would leave the bathroom and the rest of the house for his mom after she woke up from the hangover she had.

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The hashira on the other hand were to say the very least sad surprised and angry. Mitsuri and Himijima were crying because he was always crying and she didn't know why anyone would treat a child like that . She had already cried multiple times that day and this probably wouldn't end at his childhood and they weren't even feeling his emotions or hearing what he was thinking yet and that happened at the worst parts of the persons life so they were not going to be prepared for the long road ahead of them.

(Notes: Sorry the ending is kind of trash but I didn't know how to put their reactions so sorry if you didn't like it but I hope you enjoyed and will read the next chapter.)