余生， 请多指教 - Please Guide Me for the Rest of My Life (English Translation)

Chapter 8:The Lovesickness of One-third of the World

I won't tell you that I miss you in that way.

Gu Wei's grandparents had a big yard, the old couple had planted a lot of trees there. Not flowers or grass, just trees. Pocket-sized little Camphor trees, Cycas trees, and Wintersweet trees. The old couple was sitting next to each other on the balcony basking in the afternoon sun together. Looking at their silhouette, I thought to myself, 10 years later, if Gu Wei and I could also be like them, hands intertwined, talking endlessly to each other, how great that would be.

I once asked Gu Wei, "If it wasn't me, who would it be?"

Gu Wei pondered for a bit and replied, "I would probably find a person with the same career, a doctor or a hospital administration staff."

I asked him why in a bitter tone. He explained that he was getting older and that his parents would worry. He himself does not have enough time to experience being in love, so he would perhaps accept someone from the same department or in the same circle of friends that his parents or colleagues introduced to him. Finding a doctor, they wouldn't think that his work is busy. Finding an administration staff, there would be someone who would take care of the family more. Then the two people would steadily get to be familiar with each other, fall in love, get married, have kids, live together.

He spoke plainly.

I can imagine him with another person in a lab coat and smiling together. I would not hypocritically comment that it wouldn't be love because if it wasn't for Gu Wei, I would probably also find someone in the same circle of friends who seemed right for me that my friends would've recommended, facing the same kind of love and marriage process. A lover who is from the same workforce; you would be able to understand the nature of work and its content better than a lover from another field.

I looked into his eyes, imagining the difference between the gaze he has towards me and the gaze he has towards his "could've been girlfriend". Gu Wei quietly lets me stare at him. He has always been calm and sincere in front of me.

"If I studied medicine back then, our kids would be old enough to fetch soy sauce right now. Ah, we wasted that many years for nothing."

Gu Wei smiled. "Then we would only be able to see each other about once a month. It's too busy."

I pinched his ear. "If you weren't busy, then I wouldn't have met you."

Gu Wei always thought that being a doctor was a career that is not suited for love. It's tiring, busy, and has no freedom. He tries really hard to make up for the parts that are insufficient. He doesn't say it, but would accidentally show it at times. In the past three years, from him getting closer to me in the beginning to his hesitation later on, and then to his determination and hard work. I saw all of it, and it made my heartache.

I quickly changed the topic and said, "Gu Wei, when you were at school, which were you better at, Chinese literature or English?"

Gu Wei thought over it a little and then replied, "English, I guess."

Two tragic STEM people.....

"Then...later on, the Chinese-literature-test grades our kids bring back would be really bad. Should I lecture them or not lecture them? If I don't lecture them, it is not justifiable, but on the other hand, if I lecture them, I can't blame their bad genetics. Mn...how about this, in the future, I do all the daily management, I'll also take on any ideological work. Violent things like spanking, I'll wait for you to come back to do. We should first split up the tasks...."

Gu Wei let out a deep laugh. "You changed the topic again."

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During the 2012 Lantern Festival, I stayed in Town X to celebrate it with Gu Wei's family.