My Guardian Angel✔️

6: First step into realisation

"We're here, June," Jasper shook my arms and I woke up from a short nap, rubbing my eyes and slightly flinching back when I felt him touching my arms. He smiled, "You feel better now?"

I nodded. Yesterday's tiredness had indeed completely vanished by now. I looked around, still slightly doubtful; this was the beach itself, alright. I guess that clears some doubts I have against him. There's still more to go before I completely trust him though.

We got out of the car and the warm sunlight danced against my skin as I looked all around, taking in the view of the new beach Jasper had brought me to. It was much more prettier, as if in the way its waves moved so smoothly and the slow but cool wind blowing at us.

Keeping my backpack down, I removed my jacket and shoes, and then folded up the ends of my leggings, ready for some actual fun by now - unlike my approach to this till today morning. I felt refreshed after finally coming out of the confines of my house and feeling the warmth of the outside environment.

I forced a smile on my face, remembering the days when dad and I used to come here literally every weekend - or sometimes, when dad is extra free, every evening - to splash in the cool waters for a few minutes. Dad used to cup some water in his hand, pretend to smile at me, and then throw it on my face all of a sudden. This was his idea of a 'joke', but I enjoyed it nonetheless, especially when I ran back after him to splash him back and ended up being carried on the back by dad. It hurt me to think that our last beach trip happened years ago, that is, approximately on my twelfth birthday. Three years since I visited this place...three years since dad got time to spend with me. And now that I'm back here again, the memories are hitting one by one in a flow of nostalgia, but it's just that I'm not with the person I used to accompany here before. I wanted him here too, my dad. I wanted those old days back, when I felt the love of both my parents through my dad.

"I and dad used to visit this place before, y'know?" I asked suddenly, still lost in thoughts and not realizing that I was asking that to Jasper out loud, "We spent hours here on some days. It was so fun. Those were the last few times when dad found time for me... Do you know how that feels, Jasper?"

It's only after that question that I regained my subconsciousness and realised what I'd said to him just now. I regretted it in that instant, understanding how stupid I was - he doesn't even have his parents anymore! And what did I ask? 'Do you know how that feels?'....
Obviously not, you stupid airhead!

"I don't," he responded with a sympathetic smile, "but I understand how you feel. I know how hard it is to stay away from your loved one, especially for this long, and to not spend time with him even when he does come home. I know how hard it is to be living alone, even when you do have parents. Do you hate him for that, June?"

"No! Of course not," I said quickly, "I love him and miss him a lot, that's all. I wish that he spent more time with me, that he understood me better as his daughter and..."

That I wished I had my mom too.

I hesitated in saying that aloud, though. Something held me back. Maybe it's not time to tell Jasper everything in my mind.

"He definitely understands you a lot, but he just can't express it to you well. He loves you and misses you as much as you do, I assure you that," he said, "But I also get that he's not making time for you nowadays. If you're hesitant to ask this to him, should I talk to him for you?"

I paused. That seems like a good idea, actually. After all this time of speaking less with dad, I've grown to be kind of awkward when discussing about my problems with him or opening up about what I feel. It's also a kind of teenage thing; you choose to tell your secrets and problems to people your age - that is, your friends - than adults - which means, parents and teachers. But Jasper can definitely handle it well due to his way with words and how he can convince anyone easily. Also, I'm sure he does understand me well, considering that he has also lost his family. He must know what a person with a dad who rarely spends time with her, must feel like.