Cold Days

little cousin

he smiles and laughs
"yeah, She hits me"
"my cousins always take my things"
"sometimes I wake up at 3 in the morning"
"my brothers don't want to come here"
"She drinks"
"She gets mad when she drinks"
and his eyes are dark
he's tired and full of frenetic energy
a normal child
a young boy

in return
I smile and laugh too
listening closely
because he wants to talk
mostly to complain
but even I can be a good listener

he said, "She gets mad when she drinks"
I told him
that people drink to calm down
he tells me, "and it's, 'oh no'
because then she hits me
and sometimes
she drinks with her coworker"
I told him
"that sucks"
and ask him if she only does it at night
"she comes home at 1 sometimes
but she does it in the middle of the day too
she and uncle
(the man who's with his mom)
(the man who is my uncle)
(and his too, now)
work a lot"

I wanted to tell him
that she shouldn't hit him
but I think he knows that already.
he grumbles when he says it
acting like it's normal -
and it is, I guess
for most kids.
I told him, "that's not good"
because it's important to say that
but that's all I can say
because I'm a coward.

and then he told me about his cousin
a girl younger than him
who always wants his things
who bothers him
who steals his things
who blames everything on him
and I know
that some of what he says
might be exaggeration
but a lot of it could be true
and I sympathize.
I don't say anything about little kids
because he's younger than me
and all his brothers.
instead I told him
"that sucks"
and even though my responses
aren't very good,
he grins, as if someone finally gets it.

how did we start talking?
he asked me what I was drawing
and I told him.
I could tell that he was probably bored
but he asked about it
and fidgeted while I explained
so I figured I owed him a listen too -
he started talking
and I listened

after all that
he put on Netflix and started watching
an older Tv show about some whacky kids
who owned a toy company

it was weird.
I watched it with him
all of it
because
what else could I do?

- this was months ago; is he okay?