Forbidden Love | A One Direction Fanfiction

They don't know about us

I jump up covered in a blanket of cold sweat. The seventh nightmare this week. It's still dark out as I glance at the clock, it's 4:45 am. His eyes haunt me night after night ever since that day. The cold floor and heavy metal door flash around my mind every single night. Countless sleepless nights go by, it's just routine at this point.

I climb out of the bed and place the big slippers onto my petite feet. I step down the stairs and make my way towards the kitchen in my oversized hoodie. I step into the doorway of the kitchen and freeze at the sight before me.

Liam and Niall sit hunched over the kitchen table, side by side, Niall's legs thrown over Liam's, his small hands clasped in Liam's big ones. Niall laughs at something Liam says and rests his head on his shoulder. Niall's cheeks tint a shade of red and eyes water from laughter. I watch the scene before me, shocked was an understatement. The chemistry between the two was like a flame burning bigger and brighter. It was special to see.

I tiptoe away from the kitchen and walk back towards my bedroom. I reach the second floor of the big house and turn the corner, bumping into a muscular warm body. My arms flail as I lose my balance and my heart jumps out of my chest until I feel strong arms wrap around my waist. I look up to meet stormy green jewel eyes, his warm breath fans across my face softly.

"You alright darlin'? You look like you've seen a ghoost?" he questioned. His sympathetic words rang in my ears, his arms were still placed against my waist and my breath hitched. "U-U-u-h yeah" I whispered. "I- I- it was just a nightmare, I came down to get a glass of water."

"Your hands are empty? Did you get lost on the way?" I thought back to what I had just seen in the kitchen, they definitely weren't open about whatever they had going on so I thought it best to keep my mouth shut about it. "U-uh yeah, I'm not thirsty anymore anyways, I was just going to go back to my room." I rambled.

"I'll walk you back to your room love." His voice was gruff as though he had just woken up. His arms still hadn't moved from my waist but as he looked down, he quickly removed them with a sense of embarrassment flushing his face.

"After you." He gestured, slowly walking beside me. "So, your nightmare. What was it about? Is everything okay, y/n?" He questioned. I thought about it for a moment, the incident rushing back to me.

"Just about my dad," I said. "He wasn't the greatest, or the nicest man if I'm being honest. But I barely remember him, it's been so long." He glanced at me with a look of pity, his expression so soft. His lips pursed in disapproval. I've never seen him like this, maybe he had a front he had to keep up, hide his raw emotions from the others. It must come with being the leader of such a fearful gang. It made me feel warm inside, my stomach fluttered. Did he care about me?

We eventually reached my room and walked inside. He helped me get into bed and that's when he asked, "do you need anyfink else love?"

I thought back to my nightmare, they were consistent this week, I didn't want anything but comfort, without thinking I grabbed his arm as he turned to leave. "Please" I whispered. "Stay with me?"
"What?" He asked, an obvious look of shock written on his face. "Stay with me, Harry," I said as I closed my eyes and turned to face the other way.

"Okay, darling." He whispered as he lay awkwardly beside me. He eventually put his arm around me and whispered "sleep well love" as I dozed off.

——

The next morning I wake up cold. My eyes slowly open as I reminisce the events of last night. I smiled tiredly and turned around to face him, I expected his sweet smile and embrace but to my surprise, no one was there. Did I dream it all? I swear he said he'd stay with me!

Perhaps he had some important business to attend to, even so, I couldn't help but feel a little upset that he wasn't there. Over these past few days, I hadn't had the experience to talk to him too much but yesterday night, we definitely had a moment.

After a few minutes of overthinking, I sighed aloud and got out of bed. My mind was fixated on only one thing; last night. I cleaned up and made my way downstairs and into the kitchen. I walk past the guys who sat at the table and made my breakfast. I glance towards Harry who doesn't even acknowledge me, almost avoiding me. This, paired with the fact that he wasn't there when I woke up in the morning, stung.

I grabbed my food and sat beside Niall at the end of the table.

"Hey, can I speak to you later?" I whisper discreetly, hiding from the other guys. He looks at me with concern and nods back just as discreetly. We finish eating and clean up and make our way to the backyard swing as the other guys make their way out of the house for business.
I take a seat beside Niall and cross my legs making myself appear more petite than I already am.

"What is it that you wanted to speak to me about?" He leans in closer in a comforting way, encouraging me to share.
"I'm just feeling really conflicted right now and I don't know what to do." I glance around the garden avoiding eye contact with Niall. I didn't know how he'd react to what I'm about to tell him, so I tread carefully.
"I don't know how to tell you, but I'm having a crisis. I woke up really early in the night and bumped into one of the guys." Niall listened intently.

I tell Niall everything. About Harry and how he's sweet with me behind closed doors and cold in front of everyone else. Niall tells me that he can relate and tells me about him and Liam. "But you can't tell anyone."
He tells me they're in the same boat and Liam is sweet and cuddly behind closed doors but has a facade when they're in front of everyone else.

"It just comes with the job." He has a solemn expression clouding his face as he shares about his time with Liam. Their times together run through his mind bringing a small smile to his face. "They don't know about the things we do, they don't know about the 'I love yous'." I smile as Niall recalls his secret times with Liam over the past few months. I've never had the chance to get to know Liam, but he sounds like an absolute sweetheart. "They don't know I've waited all my life, just to find a love that feels this right."

"But I bet you if they only knew, they would just be jealous of you." I smile back at Niall in encouragement. He definitely knows how I'm feeling, probably even better than I do.

"One day." When it doesn't endanger them. When it's safe. Who knows what would happen if word got out that they had relations? Let alone with someone as unimportant to the business as Niall. He didn't bring much to the business but they kept him around, and he enjoyed being here. He couldn't do anything to ruin that and Liam's reputation, and so kept his time with Liam a secret.