A Thousand Nights Applause

Ch. 3

The meeting had started and went on as it normally had. They had recited the introduction, Pitts had read a poem with Meeks and Charlie to follow after him. Knox had of course updated everyone on how things were going with Kris, and even Cameron had said a few things as well himself. Though, one thing that was strange was that Neil had remained uncharacteristically silent throughout everything.

"Neil? Got anything to contribute?" Charlie questioned. Of course, he wasn't going to allow their 'leader' to go without saying anything at this meeting.

"Actually, I do. I wrote something, and I was waiting for everyone else to go before reading it." he said with a gentle smile.

He stood up from his spot and pulled out a folded sheet of paper from his pocket. His heart was absolutely pounding within his chest as he unfolded it. Was he really going to go through with this? He knew there was really no turning back now as the Dead Poets were on the edge of their seats. He knew that once he read his poem, there was no going back. Though, he thought about what Mr. Keating would say at a time like this. He stared down at the sheet of paper and took a shaky breath before muttering the words 'carpe diem' under it and starting his poem.

"With eyes as blue as the ocean and green and brown as the earth
Your emotions crash in them like tidal waves
Oh how easily I could drown in them
Your soft mousy hair
How I ache to run my fingers through it
Even with your shy meek personality
I still adore you so
Your personality is brighter
Than the stars in the sky that shone
They twinkled that fateful night
The one on your birthday
The one with the desk set that took flight
But I'll forever think your eyes shine ten times brighter
Though no smile shines brighter than the sun
Than the one belonging to my love, Todd Anderson"

Todd hadn't connected the dots throughout the poem up until the very last part of the lines. The desk set was what gave it away, and then the very last line had completely revealed it. His heart was pounding relentlessly within his chest. He felt like he could be sick. Not from disgust, but from his nerves. The Dead Poets knew Neil's feelings for him, and he was sure that they had realized his feelings for Neil. Everyone's attention was all on him. Not being able to handle everything and how overwhelmed he felt, he dashed out of the cave.

"Todd!" Neil called out, his slight smile falling into a look of concern. Not even thinking twice, he followed after him. "Todd, wait!" he called out again as he ran.

Todd's head was spinning uncontrollably. He felt dizzy, so once he was near a spot where he felt hidden by the trees, he slumped down to his knees. His chest heaved with every deep breath he took in attempts to desperately fill his lungs up with the air that they were screaming intensely at him for. He had heard Neil yelling after him in the cave, and even the sound of footsteps. Of course Neil would follow after him. That's just how Neil is. He was so caring and full of love that it drove Todd to the point of tears.

He thought back on how Neil's eyes looked while he had been delivering his poem to the group. He thought about the way their gaze connected at the end and the way his heart slammed in his chest during the last four lines. In a way, he was relieved that Neil was chasing after him; that he wasn't giving up on him. Though, the idea of talking to Neil at this moment was one that made him sick to his stomach.

"Todd, there you are!" His voice was light and breathy as he himself had run out of breath when running.

Of course he had found him.

"Why'd you run out?" Neil's voice sounded dejected. "I'm sorry if it was over the top or made you uncomfortable." he apologized. "I just thought, well, because of your poem you wrote and read to Mr. Keating..." he explained, but not fully. He had left so many things unspoken, hoping that Todd would hear them all.