Ooopsie Daisy

HELLO SENPAI UWU ANYTHING FOR YOU SENPAI AGE IS JUST A NWUMBER SWENPAI *RAWR X

a/n: This one permanently changed our vocabulary forever, also it's whiplash city so :) wear your seatbelts kids
Full title: HELLO SENPAI UWU ANYTHING FOR YOU SENPAI AGE IS JUST A NWUMBER SWENPAI *RAWR XD* OWO WHAT'S THIS?  I nWOTICED YOU HAVE A BULGE OWO WANT SOME JAIL TIME? *GLOMPS YOU* IM 13 BTW OWO

He is Fyodir Asmartikov, and he is having the day before the best day of his life. He's been driving down I-90 for 5 hours now, heading to a job in a neighborhood near St. Louis. Fyodir couldn't quite remember the name, but his wife had made him print out the address from Google maps.
He glanced at it now as he sped along. There was a nice little picture of the zoomed-in map. It would definitely make it much easier to find the neighborhood, worth their splurge on extra ink. If it was solely up to Fyodir, he would live a completely barebones life to save up, but Sabine wouldn't let him. She had already brought figurative color into his life, but that became literal when she moved into his apartment.
Fyodir couldn't repress his smile, remembering how she justified encouraging them to liven up the place through the reduction in rent that she brought. It was true, having a third roommate decreased rent, but Fyodir and Derrek had actually paid around the same amount between the additional fees tacked on and the price of furniture.
Still, he couldn't say the joy wasn't worth it. The three of them sat up late at night studying for exams together until they fell asleep curled on their three secondhand loveseats together more times than he could count last semester. And the plants she brought with her definitely livened up the place.
A car honked. Fyodir rolled up the crack in the window, closing off the hot afternoon air. The day had gotten humid fast. Not unusually so, but it was disappointing. As the window sealed, the volume in the truck lessened drastically. The dollar-store flowers Sabine had tucked around the cabin stopped their rustling and shaking, swaying gently instead. He readjusted his lanyard, which had been bothering him.
Fyodir was jealous sometimes of Derrek and his business degree. His roommate finished with his work hours before Sabine and him. The first year of law school had to weed out everyone who wasn't serious about going into law, but he wished it didn't have to be so difficult. If he hadn't taken that gap year, he would've been halfway done instead of only 1/4 done.
Still, he couldn't imagine marrying his wife while worrying about class the next week. The gap year had helped them raise more money and take internships before law school, and because of Sabine's rich parents and his many scholarships in undergrad, they were lucky enough to not have to worry about their student loan grace period.
The wedding had been spectacular. The only guests were Derrek, a handful of their mutual friends, and Derrek's family friend who officiated the wedding. It was not spectacular to look at, and not well attended. They weren't even planning on telling their families until they were certified lawyers and could afford the sort of wedding that was expected. It had honestly only been for making law school cheaper, but as soon as they were married they had committed to the roles as intensely as any couple deep in love. Now they had eyes only for each other...
Fyodir shook himself back into focusing on the road. He'd seen trucks like his get into accidents before, and it wasn't pretty. It was easy to zone out on the roads leading into St Louis, he had been at Columbia University, near the city for four years of undergrad, and had driven in 4-5 times a week for his past year at Saint Louis University. The semitropical tree foliage lining the road was a more familiar sight than that of Litchfield. His hometown up in Minnesota was nice, but he couldn't stand the cold and lack of sunlight. He had received quite the culture shock when he had arrived in Saint Louis, blasted by humidity and sunlight and the air conditioning which, throughout the South, seemed to be always either full blast or broken. It was nice. In a way, he had unexpectedly fallen in love with Saint Louis just as he had unexpectedly fallen in love with Sabine. Sabine Asmartikov. It had a nice ring to it.
Ahead of his car, there were several police cars and, just out of sight, a massive accident. Fyodir sighed and pumped the brakes, checking the few cars behind him.  Both of the lanes on his side were closed off, and the accident stretched to the other side. He couldn't quite figure out how the accident was this bad, considering the farmland on one side and the thin plastic stakes used as dividers... Had two cars swerved across the dividers?
No, as he creeped up in his ice cream truck he could see that for the next few miles, there were spaced-out concrete barriers. The car had collided into the barrier, partially sliding into the oncoming traffic of the other side. The police had arrived and were directing cars one by one around the one open lane as the driver waited guiltily by the side.
Fyodir waited patiently as the car in front of him chatted with a policeman. The two were very intent in their conversation. Fyodir couldn't help but notice that the remaining open lane was completely unblocked. The wreck, police car, other car, and Fyodir were lined up like children waiting to get a cookie.
Fyodir tapped his fingers on the wheel. Driving from his apartment in Columbia to his job to pick up the truck, and then to the gig in St Louis... he hadn't taken traffic into account. Never had, honestly, growing up in a small town of 6000ish people and living on campus at Columbia for 4 years. He smiled, thinking of the professor he had for his 8am first semester. Getting up for his 8:20 class earlier each day and still being doomed to walk in several minutes after class started was an emotion he doubted he would experience again. It was painful, that class.
Painful.
Fyodir shook himself back out of his reverie to note that the car in front of him had hardly budged. He looked at the clock on his dashboard but hardly noted the time. The party was an afternoon one, so there wasn't the excuse of rush hour traffic, or having to defrost the car....
Never having to defrost his car was another thing he loved about St Louis. The skyline? That castle-like view showed up in his dreams sometimes. Their Columbia friend group had started going on spring break roadtrips in sophomore year of school, and he had never seen a city quite like it. His phone must have hundreds of pictures of the arch on it. A few of the pictures were taped up on all his clipboards and school notebooks, along with ones of his family. At least half were of Sabine, or ones she had recommended.
Fyodir shook his head. He couldn't keep getting distracted like this on the road. It was possible that Sabine was right, and he should see a psychologist to get tested for ADHD... But Fyodir had been a safe driver his entire life, been the only person he knew who got a perfect score on his driving exam, and he'd been able to study enough to ace his LSAT. He didn't need medication. Probably.
Medication.
Fyodir sighed again. He was going to be late. For certain. Then he would lose his tips, and maybe they would complain enough to get him fired, and then he would have to find another job in the area in the peak of college-students-looking-for-
jobs season, and then he would have less money to pay off his law school debts during his grace period and really,  paying them off early was the only option if he wanted to be debt-free. And he definitely needed to be debt-free. No marriage until he could afford one resplendent enough to impress Sabine's family, and he so desperately wanted family nearby.
    Family.
    Fyodir shifted forward slightly. The policemen were both completely out of it. It was possible... he shifted forward again, curving around the outside of the car. Still, neither the driver nor the policeman seemed to care, so he pulled up all the way, until he was a bit in front of them. Then, on a whim, he rolled down his window.
    "Uh, hey!" he called. "What happened here?" Fyodir immediately regretted not just speeding by. The policeman looked like he was in the mood to add another to the conversation, and the ice cream in the back of his truck was sure to melt now.
    Ice cream.
"Oh, hello!" said the man in the car, before the policeman could say anything. "You're the first to drive by!"
Fyodir decided not to mention that he'd been sitting there for at least ten minutes, or what at least felt like it. "Oh, good to know! So, can I pass by here or...?"
The policeman waved him off with a nod, seemingly eager to get back to the conversation. It was possible he was just telling Fyodir to wait, but he took his foot of the brakes and hit the gas anyways.
Brakes.
Hit.
Fyodir cruised along I-90 for a few minutes, enjoying the sight of the trees by the side of the road. There was a car parked in his way, in the middle of the road.
Black 1967 Chevy Impala.
Black 1967 Chevy Impala.
There was a body in the road. He swerved to avoid it, but there was still something to hit.
There was a body in the road.
Black 1967 Chevy Impala.
He swerved.
Someone died.
It was
Sam shuddered himself awake. There was a tightness in his limbs that reminded him of sleep paralysis. He shifted slightly, but the darkness in his mind did not go away. There were dark whispers, shadows gathering around the edges of his vision, and he was reminded of long sleepless days. 
Sam forced himself to focus on holy things, on anything that could wrest control back from the memories of everything that had held control of his mind and life for so long.
The only thing holy that would come to mind was the sight of anger in Cas's eyes.