Saudade

empty

"I can't do this, Cal." I remember her saying, her voice cracking because of the tears that were threatening to escape from her eyes once again. Her cheeks were flushed and stained with mascara.

"Please...don't do this." I begged. Tears were also forming in my eyes. 

"It's too hard. You're never here anymore. I need you, Calum. Where were you when I needed you?"

Before I could say anything else, she was gone. 

Gone. 

Six months later and I still barely pull through the day without her. It's terrible, having a part of you ripped out and trying to act like you're fine. She was my sun, my happiness, my life. 

It's completely pathetic, relying your happiness on someone else. People don't always stick around, all you really have is yourself. You should make yourself happy.

But this girl. She seemed to give happiness a definition. She was everything and I let her slip through my fingers. 

We were supposed to be forever. We had a future planned out; getting married and living in a big house and having a few kids. We had so many plans andn now none of them matter. We've lost it all. 

I've lost it all. 

Author's note:

okay hi! I'm gonna set this up as a short story. this will all be in calum's p.o.v. but yeah, hope you guys enjoy this. i'm very proud of it so far.