Farther Away

It's September 28th. He thought as he smiled bitterly.

He was all too aware what the fans thought of this day, the grim reality of what this day meant now and what it meant then.

Harry dragged himself out of his bed to the window to see the sun rise, unable to force himself to sleep any longer, even though that's exactly what he wanted to do. It's all he's wanted to do for a long time now, ever since he gave up on moving on.

His team doesn't understand the sheer numbness that is his life now.

One Direction was the highlight of his 30 years of life, and there's a 33 year old man out there who could possibly breathe some feeling back into him now, whether it hurt or not didn't matter.

At least he would feel something.

Harry knew that Liam and Niall were a bit worried about him and he tried to play up that he was okay. He had sold plenty of records in his time as a solo artist, he's set for life and could retire whenever he wants to, he and the boys have played around with the idea of a reunion on multiple occasions in order to fulfill their promise, but they haven't really settled on anything yet.

Harry's not really sure if they're really going to settle on anything regarding that.

He made a mistake, one that cost him dearly when they went on hiatus.

He and Louis, "Larry" as they were known as, were most definitely real and were going strong when they lived in each other's pockets and honestly they couldn't get enough of each other.

They were almost to the point of obsession.

He gave a faint smile as he gazed at the horizon of the LA coastline. It was beginning to brighten up with the sunrise. He rarely got to see the sunrise anymore because it seemed that he was always too tired.

Then again all he ever wanted to do was sleep, so he wasn't really complaining all that much.

The last time he saw the sunrise was actually in England, with Louis. The thought still tears at his nearly dead heart.

They were walking along the beach because they made a special trip just to see the sunrise that morning. Louis of course made his token complaints because never let it be said that he was a morning person, however one look in his eyes and one could see that he was just as excited for it as Harry was.

That was years ago.

They had been together for years, and even engaged, but they never married.

What a mistake that was.

Looking back at it now, Harry can see that Louis was letting him do what he thought he needed, and he was just being his lovely self and waiting for him to come back.

Louis was waiting. For him.

The only problem was that Harry never got the memo. He never saw the light of their love leave Louis' eyes. He never saw his bright blue eyes turn dark.

As they say, "Hindsight is 20-20."

He only wished that it didn't cost him what it did.

He sold his soul to his music, and became married to his work while Louis was left hanging out to dry.

He literally drowned himself in the very thing that they were trying to escape in One Direction.

And he didn't realize what he was doing.

He blinked his eyes which were starting to burn a little from that train of thought before shuffling into his kitchen and beginning to make a cup of coffee for himself.