Teenage Crime

Chapter 1

Aspyn van Zandt sat staring at the burned remains of her former self. Pictures, videos, drawings. At this point in her short life, she couldn’t even tell you who she really was. She was merely a shadow of her former self.

         It was the summer before her junior year of high school. She was being shipped out of New Orleans and off to North Carolina. Off to a new school, off to live with a family she’d never met before.

         “Funny,” she said to her sister, while packing her things into the car, “How a few mistakes completely change you. Everything about you. People start seeing you differently, and you know what, after a while, you start seeing yourself differently too.” She grimaced, looking at her pale, bruised arms and legs.

         “You know that’s not true. So many people still love you.”

         “Is that why I’m being forced to leave? Because all these people ‘love’ me?”

         “It’s for your own good.”

         “No shit,” Aspyn said under her breath. She sniffed a little and looked over at her sister. Leighton, that was her name. They were twins. Although they looked similar, they were completely different. Sounds stereotypical. But, the truth is blind to stereotypes. Aspyn looked at Leighton and felt a pang of jealousy. She was the perfect daughter. Straight A’s, president of the school counsel, prom queen, got 2200s on her SATs. She could see the difference in her father’s expressions when he looked at Leighton. Proud, that’s what he looked. Unlike when he looked at Aspyn.

         Leighton’s hair was always perfect. She always kept it neat and tidy. Unlike Aspyn’s, whose fell just above her belly button, long and scraggly. Leighton always dressed to impress, classy and clean. Unlike Aspyn, whose skirts were too short and whose shoulders were always showing. Leighton was straight edge. No drinking, drugs, smoking, or sex.

         That might be where they differed the most. Leighton was president of the celibacy club, and had never touched alcohol or drugs. Aspyn, on the other hand, had started drinking and using marijuana in eighth grade. Her partying and one-night stands had been constant since sophomore year. She was also failing every single one of her classes. She’d received a 600 on the SAT, the lowest possible score you could get.

         Both the girls had been considered beautiful since the day they were born. Their blonde hair and green eyes made them stand out in a crowd. Their flawless complexion and slim bodies had led to their reputation of being “perfect”. Everywhere they went men stared at them, women were jealous of them. Even at the tender age of 12, men would call out to them in the street.

         Leighton had promised herself that she would never let a man touch her whom she didn’t love. She took the many compliments with grace and delicacy. Aspyn, on the other hand, just wanted to have fun. Or at least, this is what she recounted. She remembered the hot, muggy night that led to this uprising of hate for her, not only from her father and sister, but also from her entire extended family.

         Leighton had been the only one home when the call came in. “Hello, van Zandt’s household. Leighton speaking!” Her normal chipper voice said over the line. What returned back was anything but. “Leighton? It’s Aspyn. Thank god you answered. Look I need you to come pick me up.” Her voice sounded very gruff and scratchy. “What? Where are you? Are you okay?” “I’m fine. I’m at, at the police station.” “Aspyn! Why? What’d you do? Did you get arrested?” Leighton practically shouted. “No, Leighton, I came here for fucking fun. Yes, I got arrested. Just please come pick me up. Don’t tell Dad.” Leighton sat listening to Aspyn’s short; quick breathes for what seemed like forever. “Leighton!” She heard, but for some reason she couldn’t think of something to respond with. “What the hell, Leighton!” At that, she hung up. She called her father into the room, going against her sister’s wishes. “Daddy, Aspyn got arrested. She’s at the police station. She needs someone to pick her up.” Leighton didn’t want to betray her sister, but she knew if she’d let Aspyn handle this on her own she’d never change her ways. She’d die in the next ten years. Best case scenario she’d make it to 27 and then die from a drug overdose. I can’t let that happen, Leighton thought, She’s my sister. I need to help her.   

         Her father was outraged. He told Leighton to stay at the house, that he’d pick up Aspyn.

         “What the fuck are you doing with your life? Getting arrested for possession of illegal drugs? Your lucky I don’t keep you in jail!” Aspyn’s father shouted, slamming the car door.

         She said nothing.  She felt nothing.

         “No, you’re not just gonna sit there and pout. You’re not five years old anymore. Tell me what kind of drugs you had.”

         “Why does it matter?” She muttered, looking out the window at the rain coming down.

         “Why does it matter? Why does it matter? For fucks sake, Aspyn, what the hell is wrong with you?”

         “Fine, you want to know? It was pot, and some coke.”

         “Coke? What the fuck are you doing with coke? You know Aspyn; I never expected much from you, but coke? Why can’t you be more like your sister?”

         It was like she was a delicate piece of fine China, teetering at the edge of the table of sanity and complete insanity. One little sudden movement, and she would shatter into a million little pieces, never able to regain her full structure back, always having ugly cracks throughout her soul. Her father had been that one little movement.

         “Are you fucking kidding me, Dad? Why can’t I be more like Leighton? Leighton can suck a dick. I’m done being compared to her! I thought you of all people would get that. And don’t talk to me about using coke. Don’t pretend like you don’t go out every weekend and get high and fuck prostitutes! Don’t try to say it’s your way of coping with mom dying. And I know why you don’t like me; you look at me, and you see yourself. And you don’t like what it looks like. You’re just a coward; you don’t want to admit that you’re no better than me. Take a good look, dad. I’m your daughter, and you act the exact same way I do. You’re a piece of shit father, and you cheated on mom from the day you got married. Go to hell, dad. And take Leighton along with you.”

         Her heart pounded out of her chest, she’d never shouted so loud before. She felt a lump in her throat form; she swallowed the tears that were trying to push their way out of her eyes. Her breathing was heavy. Her father stopped the car and looked at her.

         He slapped her straight across the cheek. “Fuck you, Aspyn. Get the fuck out of my car. Don’t bother coming home.”

         She stared at him, dumbfounded. He held steady, not showing any emotion. She gulped down hard, and looked down at her legs. Thoughts raced trough her head. It was like her body was working and her brain wasn’t. She nodded and got out of the car. The rain was cold. She watched as her father drove away. She watched as the taillights faded. She watched as other cars taillights faded. She watched. She just watched.

         She doesn’t know how long she stood there for, maybe one or two hours. She started walking, not knowing where she was going. She just walked. She eventually found herself in Audubon Park. She sat on a bench and felt the rain come down. Right now, it was the only thing she did feel. Her body was numb, her brain was no longer producing thoughts. She had no home, she had no family, she had no money. At this moment in time, she felt as though she was no longer there. As though any body could walk by that bench, and not see her. Not hear her. Not even feel her presence. At that moment, she was gone.

         She was nothing.

         She had left this world, just for that moment, and entered into a different world.

         A world where there was no feeling. There was no emotion.

         There was nothing in this world.