Good Girl Gone Bad

Five.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. The school was a mass of energy as everyone focused on the football game and she hardly saw Cody because of it. She let him get on with it – it meant he could complete his usual superstitious pre-game ritual and it allowed her to have lunch with the girls. She almost told them about being paired with Shawn, but then something inside her told it to keep it to herself. Ava was proud though – when she flicked through Camila's history notebook there were actually words, not lyrics. Camila hadn't dare told her it was because she didn't want to engage in conversation with her project partner.

She thought about him though.

All she did was think about him.

Was he going to the game? Would he sit on the bleachers? Were him and Cody getting along? Had he played horseys with Penny yet? Would he be at the party tonight?

The first two questions were answered when she couldn't see Shawn's face in the crowd. And it wasn't for not trying. He was nowhere to be seen and as Cody scored a touchdown, she forced herself to remember she had to be the dutiful girlfriend, cheering when she was supposed to and pretending to understand the rules the rest of the time.

The clock ran down and she was still a million miles away, to the point where she didn't notice when Cody was running over towards her.

"Cam?" Layla nudged her, linking arms to encourage her down the steps as she went to congratulate her boyfriend, Ben, too.

"Sorry," She shook her head, plastering a grin as Cody climbed up onto the railings to give her a kiss. "Congratulations!"

"You didn't understand any of it, did you?" Cody grinned up at her, a knowing smile on his face.

"I know you played well. That's enough."

"I know," He agreed.

"Are you coming tonight?" She asked him as he jumped down from the railings.

"Can't," He shook his head, "Coach will want to go over the tapes already. I've got math homework that I'm stuck on though, let's work on it with Shawn on Sunday."

"Okay," She nodded numbly. She didn't have any energy to fight it, waving at his retreating figure as he ran back over to his team.

"Is he coming tonight?" Layla asked, having separated from Ben.

"No," Camila shook her head, linking arms with her again, "He's not."

"Are you upset?" The girl asked quietly, concern written all over her face.

"No," Camila looked up at her and smiled slightly, shaking her head. "I'm not upset at all."

••••

"Camila?" Maria Cabello called as she climbed the stairs to her daughter's room.

"I'm in here Mom," Camila yelled back, wrapping a final piece of hair around her curling iron.

"You look nice," Maria appeared in the doorway and smiled, "Is that a new dress?"

"We bought it last summer in New York," Camila looked down at the pink bandage dress that covered her body. Her Mom hadn't even let her try it on; she'd just insisted on buying it, "It fits now."

"Oh."

"Did you want something?"

"Camila!"

"Sorry," The girl squeezed her eyes shut, "I'm just running late."

"Where are you going?" Maria took a seat on her bed and watched her daughter touch up. "I thought you spent Friday's with Cody after the game?"

"Why is everyone asking me about Cody?"

"Because he's your boyfriend sweetie," Maria said, "And you've idolized him since you were thirteen."

"Well I'm not thirteen anymore."

Maria paused, before speaking carefully, "Did you guys have a fight?"

"No Mom," Camila sighed, looking down at her lap. "I just think that maybe I might have spent too much time with him recently. I can't forget about my friends and that's what I feel like I've been doing."

"Honey," Maria looked more than a little concerned, "The last time we spoke about this, you were talking about going to college near each other and renting together in New York. What happened? Did he hurt you?"

"No," Camila shook her head, "I promise," She practically begged, "I just..."

"You what?" Maria asked gently, standing and walking over to fan out a piece of Camila's hair.

Camila looked up at her in the mirror, nerves simmering in her stomach. "I don't know if I'm going to get into Cornell," She choked out. That wasn't exactly what she'd intended to say.

"Your Dad is friends with a lot of people in high up places," Maria rubbed her shoulders, "You're going to get in, sweetheart."

"But how can you guarantee that?" She looked crestfallen, almost heartbroken; "It's not fair on everyone else." And by everyone else, she was only thinking about one person. Her Mom looked like she was about to say something, but Camila abruptly stood, not waiting for her answer. "I need to finish getting ready," She mumbled, heading towards her bathroom. "I'll see you tomorrow," She said, before she slammed the door shut and locked it behind her.

She turned the tap on and knelt by the toilet.

The ritual was all too familiar. The familiarity was comforting.

The expectation was too much.