The Roommate Rulebook

Rule 1.

Rule 1.


I’d managed to have a shower, get dressed and sit in dwell in my room for a good 45 minutes before the time came to go into the front room and deal with the consequence of my actions the night before.

Dev ended up dissolving the conflict with distraction, asking Ash about his night. After he let me go, I’d scrambled back into my room and went to bed, knowing that a burglar wasn’t going to end up slaughtering me in my sleep.

When I emerged, nobody was in sight but I could smell some toast burning in the kitchen. Strolling into the front room, I did a spot check for Ash to my right, hoping he was out.

“Unarmed today, I see,” said a voice from behind me. With a grimace, I slowly turned on my heels to face a tall, brown haired, broad shouldered guy.

“I can go back and get the bottle, if you’d rather,” I replied, attempting to look like the night before hadn’t phased me in the slightest. He looked different, probably because it was light and his eyes weren’t red, angry and inflamed from my hairspray.

He cocked an eyebrow and folded his arms over his chest, only making him seem larger.

“Most people would retaliate with an apology,” he retorted, leaning one shoulder on the wall next to him. I scoffed and frowned, disliking him already.

“I’m not going to apologise for defending myself,” I sniffed.

“Defending yourself from what? The paracetamol I was getting from the drawer?” His voice was flat and I let out a deep breath.

“Children, children,” Dev cooed from behind me. I felt his large hands on my shoulders as he held me in place and ruffled my hair. Rolling my eyes, I shrugged him off and scooted on top of the table.

“I’m going to need the pair of you to get along,” my cousin continued, running his hand through his sandy hair, which was a few shades lighter than my long, dark waves.

“Did something happen to make you think that we won’t get along?” I asked sweetly, swinging my jogger clad legs on the edge of the table.

“Uh, yeah, you jumped me with a can of hairspray last night,” Ash cut in.

“Get over it! What are you? Five?” I hissed. Ash’s eyes narrowed and Dev let out a bark of nervous laughter.

“I get that you didn’t get off on the right foot,” Dev tried but I shook my head and jumped down from the table, pulling the bottom of my shirt up to show a bruise on my stomach.

“This is what your drunken, violent lodger did to me last night,” I exclaimed. Dev raised an eyebrow while Ash just looked bored.

“I’d have to say that I’m more of a legs man, myself, so you can stop flashing me your stomach,” Ash drawled. I huffed and shoved my shirt back down, practically stomping into the kitchen to cool off.

It took me a while to navigate myself around the kitchen and find the toaster, let alone the bread. The boys didn’t have any order in the kitchen whatsoever. Someone had clearly gone to the shops that morning as there was a bag on the counter. Inside, I found a pack of bacon, which was already open, and a carton of orange juice. Neither of which were very helpful in the contribution towards my breakfast.

Whilst I set about the kitchen, I heard some mumbling coming from the living room. My name was definitely mentioned and I grumbled under my breath. I was beginning to wish I’d behaved and stayed at home, it would’ve been so much easier. At least at home I had some friends.

“Al!” Dev hollered. I stuck my head out of the kitchen and looked over to see my cousin on the sofa and Ash nowhere in sight.

“What?” I asked when he didn’t say anything.