𝐌𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬

19 | My Last Goodbye, Darling

It has been eighteen days since being locked in the old Witness Protection house and Sofia has checked in on me every day. Since having the waiter drug my drink, she lets me pour my own water from the tap. She brings food when she arrives and each day tries to get me to unveil more about mine and Tom's relationship.

Last night she made me do my makeup in front of her so she could copy my techniques. We have slightly different skin tones but she still uses my signature perfume and my favourite colour lipstick. For everything else, she had gone shopping to buy the exact same products as me.

She brushed my hair for me yesterday, which I found super fucking creepy and before I knew it she snipped a piece off, just an inch but it scared the shit out of me. I was convinced she was going to chop it all off; but she just wanted to admire it and tell her hairdresser what colour to dye her own hair. She hates me, but she wants to be me, that's why she's keeping me alive.

She also watched me shower once too; which was really creepy. I asked why the fuck she was in the bathroom with me and she said because of two reasons:

1) To make sure I don't drown myself, because if I die, Tom won't have a reason to stay with her. Smart.

2) To see why Tom was attracted to me in a physical sense. She wanted to see what he would see when admiring my naked body. A shiver went up my spine when she said that, I was scared she was going to try and fuck me with a strap on.

After the shower she told me that she wished she could see me have sex. That right there? That was the pinnacle of creepy. She then went on to say she wished she could have watched a sex tape of Tom and I so she could study the way I moved and perfect how I fucked him, yet when I told her I've never filmed such a thing, she took it down disappointingly within her notes.

'Sex tape is a no with Tom'

"Can you quickly just moan for me?" She asked bluntly which I laughed at, I genuinely though she was joking until I saw her face.

"Wait you're serious? Why the fuck do you want me to moan for you?" I asked after I had gotten out of the shower.

"I want to sound like you when Tom pleasures me, if you're the one who turns him on then I want to do the same," she said matter of factly, seriously wanting to become me in every sense.

I refused until she pointed the gun at me head once again and let me say this right now, moaning is definitely the last thing I would have thought someone would have me do at gun point. After every moan, whimper or gasp she copied me, trying to imitate the exact tone of my voice.

The only normal thing that Sofia does, is that she gives me updates on how Tom is, which is the one thing keeping me going. She still lives with Tom's family because he doesn't let her inside the house but she has convinced them that she has started seeing Tom romantically again since I apparently left him. At first Tom was furious but once Sofia told him that she would kill me if he didn't cooperate, he obliged to pretend along with her.

"He won't have sex with me yet but that will come all in due time. In front of his brothers he has kissed me though, god I've missed the way he tastes," she smiled, showing me a photo she had uploaded to Instagram of the two of them. The caption being:

If it's meant to be, it will always make its way back to you xo

"I'm surprised he hasn't bitten off your bottom lip," I scoffed, eating the takeaway food she brought me.

"You know, he asked if he could see you today. I said no but I like, compromised with him and promised that I would deliver a letter," she smiled at me, as if she was doing me some tremendous favour.

"Oh yeah? Give me a pen and paper and I'll do it," I said hopefully.

"No, a pen is too dangerous, you could like, stab me," she giggled as if she'd told a funny joke, getting off the couch and returning with a piece of paper and a pink coloured marker. Great, now I'm being treated like a child as well as a hostage.

"If you write anything explaining where you are or clues to lead him here, I won't deliver it. Take this as, like a sort of goodbye letter to him," she said smiling.

I took a deep breath and looked at the blank sheet of paper, thinking that if this is the last thing I ever say to Tom, I need to make it worth while.

I also need him to find me. I need to devise hints that Sofia won't understand but Tom will.

'Tom, my love,
I miss you every day. I'm sorry that it has come to this but I hope one day you learn to be happy without me. I remember the days we first met, how fond those memories are. I will never forget the time I first met you. That little house holds a special place in my heart where you saw me baking at midnight, dancing to myself. I wish we could go back to that time in our lives, before all of this happened and nobody knew who we were or where to find us. I love you so much, and I hope that one day our paths will cross, when you and Sofia are happy and married, with kids running around being a beautiful family.
Love your darling,
Y/N'

Sofia took it from me to read in case I said anything like 'help I'm at the witness protection house come and rescue me now' or something similar. Although majority of the letter talked about the witness protection program in an attempt for him to check for me here, it went completely over Sofia's head.

"Aw this is so cute, you want us to have kids together! I already have names picked out don't worry. But I have notes, is Darling a nickname for you?" She asked. I nodded. She wrote it down in her phone.

"And you mentioned baking at midnight... Does he like it when you bake for him?" She asked, cocking her head to the side.

"No not really... He likes it when I bring him tea though... It's a habit he has every day where he asked me to make him a tea in the morning before I go to work and the both of us have a tea before bed," I said softly, beginning to tear up at the fact I may have already shared my last tea with Tom.

Please Tom, please fucking find me in this hell hole.