i seriously love how i wrote this without a particular person in mind but what i imagine writing my future lover someday. although it was using masc pronouns because let's be honest, i was in denial of being queer. i don't mind having a male, female, nonbinary or none of the above as a lover.
i have someone in mind. she really is my moon and stars, a best friend, my soulmate. i've loved her for as long as we've known one another and she's had my heart for over two years. i know i made some questionable mistakes but my heart belongs to her and her alone. i am grateful that she'll never find this account but if she does, minmin, know that i love you with all of my heart. i love you like i love the moon, i love you as much as there are stars in the night sky and i'll continue to love you until the sun never rises again.
all that i previously wrote in the first part still stands but there are so many personal things that will be added to adjust to you. to personalize it to fit you and only you. i thank the universe for your existence every day. you're so patient and kind. like really fucking patient with my dumb ass. i dunno how you put up with half the shit i do but you're still here. you've stayed despite my fuck ups and let downs. you've seen the good, the bad, the awful, and the down right ugly side of me. you're my favorite person in the whole world. more than jimin omf.
look at my gay ass professing all of this for the world to see. i don't care though, it's not for them. it's for you even if i know you'll never see this. as i've told you before, i will dedicate anything i write to you. you're my biggest fan and supporter. in return, i too am your biggest fan and supporter. even if we don't end up together, you will always be my first love; therefore, a part of me will always love you. i will always support you and i will always be by your side. you're my best friend, my soulmate, my minmin, my sweet potato, my noodle head, my winter bear, my sun, moon and all of my stars.
the world needs more people like you. can you fucking believe it was fate that brought us in each other's circle, each other's energy? it was divinely guided and timed. i don't regret reaching out to you and i hope you don't either. i also don't say fate lightly because there is not another way to describe what happened. if it hadn't been for your post on my timeline, we might not have interacted. we never would've discussed anime and our day. i wouldn't have learned about your pumpkin spice obsession. i wouldn't have been able to skype you, send you flowers, or swap goodies with you. you wouldn't be on this spiritual journey with me.
i wouldn't have all of these wonderful things if the universe didn't direct you to me. i used to be so upsetti spaghetti that you didn't want to be with me but i'm content being in your life as your best friend. i'm content as long as i'm with you. if i have you, the rest of it doesn't matter. i do want to apologize for hurting you. i know what i did, hurt you even if you never said anything. i know it wasn't directed toward you in any way but it still affected you in some way. know that i am truly sorry and so regretful for it. it's not an excuse but i was vulnerable and did not realize the toxicity of the situation. ever since, i've been focusing on me and loving me.
i know we're not talking as much right now but that's because i'm doing my inner healing and being with you would keep me from doing that. i want to love me properly so i can love you right and how you truly deserve, whether that be romantically or platonically. just know that not a day goes by where you're not on my mind at least once. i see crystals and i think of you and how much i want to share them with you. music makes me think of you, which is why i made a whole ass playlist for you, dedicated to you and shared it with you only.
i swear i'll finish writing chance, for you. i hope you know that work hits really close to home and in my heart. it's about you but i have a feeling you already know that. 🧍🏽♀️ one day when you're a florist and own a book shop and i'm a legit author, we can look back on all the shit we did together and went through and know we finally made it. i look forward to that future with you. as long as it's with you, nothing else matters. you will forever be intertwined to my destiny in what ever way the universe gifts us to be.
you will always remain in my heart, mi luna y estrellas. ♡
