It's Raining Somewhere Else (rants)

Profane Summary of The Little Mermaid

A/N
If you don't want cussing, please skip over this.

So there's this fucking "little" 16 year old mermaid. This mermaid likes Lookin for a bunch of two leg people shit. Her motherfucking daddy thinks he can control the shit outta her and so the mermaid chick goes to her fucking cave full of some random ass stuff and does an entire song about how she wants to be some asshole human. She goes to the surface and celebrates some random ass guy named Eric's birthday and saves the asshole's life. The little mermaid chick saves this guy by singing. Fucking singing, like how goddeamn pathetic is that. The mermaid chick is lovesick and shit, so she goes to her cove and daddy fucking dearest decides to destroy all her random ass shit.
Mermaid chick goes to squid lady and gets legs, almost fucking dies underwater. Mermaid lady is having problems getting mr fucking perfect and on the third day she is enslaved and then goes to fucking war with squid lady. After the motherfucking war that lasted like what ten minutes she and mr fucking perfect get married