Secrets ~ Bucky X y/n

*part 19*

There we were sitting across from each other at a small bar in Moscow.

It was quiet and neither of us were talking, I hid behind the menu trying to figure out what I wanted to have. There were so many options, and I wasn't that hungry. I might have a cheeseburger, that sounds nice and some fries.

I heard someone laughing so I looked up to see Bucky's sweet face giggling.

"What are you laughing at" I asked beginning to laugh myself.

"This isn't the first time you've hid behind a menu in this restaurant" he laughed

"Really?" I laughed

"Yup on one of our first official dates you could say"

"Well, I think I'm going to get a cheeseburger"

"Good choice, I'll have the same"

Then we were back in an awkward silence, I didn't know what to say to him. We have a history and a home apparently. I don't even remember it; I hope I remember it soon. I feel bad for him, I know he doesn't remember much but its more than I do. The waiter came over and toke our order, still in silence we sat there. I didn't know if the silence was ever going to break but I hoped it would, I just didn't know what to say. The more I thought about it, the more I realised there was one question I needed to ask.

"How much do you remember?" I finally asked.

He looked at me with a soft smile before replying to my question.

"Not much, just being tortured, us living here and Steve in the 40s. I remember us here at some point, we seemed happy until hydra hunted us down again."

"I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"Not remembering us and not going back for you"

"it's ok, you didn't know. Plus, we are here now"

"it's not ok, I want to know and to remember but I can't. All I remember is us on a mission for the super soldier serum"

"oh Mr and Mrs stark" he said sadly.
"what?"
"we killed maria and Howard stark, I remember that" he said

"I wish I didn't remember it but I do" he continued as he started to tear up but he held them back. It was too late for me the tears were already running down my face.

"Oh my god that's Tony's parents, that was us."

I couldn't believe it, the memory I saw was me and winter soldier killing tony parents. I killed Tony's parents; my friend tony. he built my suit and toke care of me when I woke up and has always been there to help me, I killed his parents.

"I'm sorry" he said breaking the silence once again.

Before I could answer the waiter came over with our food and drinks.

I started to eat the burger; it was really good, but I was no longer in the mood to eat it.

"its ok, you had to tell me and we were unaware of it so it's not our fault." I spoke

He nodded.

Once we were finished, we paid the bill and left.

We got back to the apartment and as usual neither of us were saying much.

"im going to get ready for bed" I said heading towards the room and putting my pyjamas on. Once I did I headed to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I saw bucky sitting on the couch with a book, he seemed really engrossed in it and I didn't was to disturb him so I stayed silent. I poured the glass and went to head to bed.

"y/n wait" he said keeping the place in his book and standing up.

"goodnight" he said as he wrapped his arms around me.

He let good, I was about to turn around and go to bed. It was a good idea, to go to bed but something was telling that I shouldn't just yet. I gazed into his eyes and my body toke control and without thinking I kissed him. It was more like a peck on the lips than a proper kiss, but I did it.

He seemed surprised, shit maybe it was a mistake.

"I'm sorry I don't know what I was-" I said before getting cut off by him kissing me again. This time it was longer, passionate and full of love.

AN;  thanks for over 300 reads!

words ~ 704