Epilogue: Zayn's Day - Out Of Time

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Epilogue: Zayn's Day – Out Of Time

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Just tell me – am I out of time?

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Zayn was drowning. That was the only explanation for the why he couldn't breathe, couldn't seem to keep his head above the flood of self-loathing he had for himself. He knew what needed to be done; he just didn't want to do it. Every part of him screamed that this was wrong, that it wasn't supposed to happen this way.

Timing is everything, He thought bitterly to himself. I just managed to find the perfect girl at the worst possible time.

All of a sudden, Niall stormed away and brought Zayn back to himself. He stared after Niall numbly and a little dazed. Zayn wasn't quite sure how he had gotten there, and it had happened with more and more frequency as time went on. During interviews, he'd suddenly shake his head and wonder if he'd already answered the question being asked. He'd look around and forget how he had gotten to a certain place. Most of the time, he was just nodding and going through the motions.

Zayn vaguely recalled a conversation with Harry and the other lads. Harry had suggested going to get the set list and seeing the graphics for tour. Zayn had almost wanted to just wallow in his bed with loud music and the lights off, but at the relief in Victoria's eyes with the prospect of not having to put on an act for even a few hours made him walk out the door with the other lads. No matter how upset he was, she'd always be his little sister. Besides, he could wallow anywhere nowadays.

As Niall rounded the corner, Zayn asked obligatorily, "Should we go after him?"

"Nah, he just needs a bit of space." Louis responded swiftly. Zayn's eyes snapped up and flashed with emotion for a second. Louis sounded... in a rush. Where was he so desperate to be?

Then, Zayn inwardly shrugged. Honestly, he didn't care. As he shuffled after Louis' excited bound at a much more sedate pace, he wondered what he did care about, and he only came up with one answer: Happy.

She had come into his life like a sunbeam, filling up the darkness of his mind with compassion, and the way she had always been able to understand him. And now he'd have to figure out how to let her go.

What good was all the money, all the awards, all the fame if he couldn't have happiness? If he couldn't be happy? If he couldn't have Happy?

"Is that Happy?" A voice came out of nowhere.

Zayn stopped flat in his tracks, not even processing the pain of Harry slamming smack dab into him. He didn't even lose his balance. He just turned on his heel and sprinted after the girl on her way to the elevator.

Getting within shouting distance, he started shouting, "Happy! HAPPY!"

The brunette had stopped at the elevator, and was pushing the button when Zayn's voice hit her ears. Whirling around instantly, she raced to her boyfriend, her arms wrapping around his neck as she hugged him.

"Zayn!" She smiled brightly, her lips moving towards his. Zayn's eyes widened, and he knew that if she kissed him, he'd be completely undone. Instead, he just turned his cheek to the side and felt her soft kiss land on his cheekbone.

What lay in her eyes only wounded Zayn deeper, not because of what was there, but what wasn't. He could see confusion and a wonder if she had done something wrong, even a genuine joy at seeing him, but no pain. He had just brushed her aside, and she did not think for one second it could be through any fault of his own. She didn't think that he could ever mean to hurt her. This was going to be much harder than he anticipated.

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