Manifest

Five

Eddie sat on the sofa in the sitting room, trying to calm down. Overhead, he watched the gray plates of the ceiling fan as it rotated in its somber, repetitive pattern. The sunlight lit the entire room through the windows and the open door.

The sofa he was sitting on was a brown two-seater with a plush headrest. Eddie liked the sofa. It had a clear view of the gate and whenever he lay down on his right side, a quick tilt of the head allowed him to see the corridor leading into the house where all other doors and rooms were. He loved it, even though it wasn't directly facing the television.

When Abasi Enyong asked him to pick a place of comfort, Eddie picked his favorite sofa.

"Are you sure I don't have to kneel?"

"I just need you to relax," Abasi Enyong said. "If you're relaxed, you'll be more open to me."

"I feel like I should be on my knees," he sat up and opened his eyes. "I'm supposed to be praying, right?"

Sighing at him, Abasi Enyong pressed Eddie's head down to the headrest and brushed Eddie's eyes closed.

"We do not need to stand on ceremony. You just have to relax," he said. "Breathe with me. Just think about me. Breathe."

Eddie obeyed.

He could hear the fan turning in his bedroom. The house was so quiet, even the fridge in the corridor leading deeper into the house from the sitting room buzzed softly to his ears. The house felt emptier than normal. A bit lonelier than it had ever been.

He could hear his father's footsteps, dragging through the house like it had done in his final months. He could hear the soft wheezing of his breath on the days breathing had proven stressful. He could remember his father's frown when he talked about the things that he wished he could still do, the games he hoped they could still play, the places he wished he could go to.

None of which he eventually did because... because...

Eddie squinted, trying to remember why.

"Just relax," Abasi Enyong urged, his voice a soft whisper in Eddie's ear. "You can pray out if you want."

"Why? You're right here."

"Beseech me," Abasi Enyong said. "Say my name so you can focus on me. And nothing else."

"Abasi Enyong," Eddie said.

Abasi Enyong laughed.

"What?" Eddie asked, opening one eye.

"You don't need to add "Abasi". Just call my name."

"It's not really a name, is it?" Eddie said. "Above?"

"I used to have a name before your people started calling me, "Above"," Abasi Enyong said. "Would you like to know it?"

"I know enough about you as it is."

Taking another deep breath, he put his head back on the headrest and closed his eyes. He tried to focus.

His mind was determined to be stubborn. It wandered to his family, as he imagined what they would say if they saw him now. Aunty Emma, his mother's younger sister, would pity him because being an overweight dietician, she understood irony. Cedric, his cousin, would laugh because he never missed a chance to point out how silly Eddie's life choices always were. Somchi would... Somchi would...

"Focus," Abasi Enyong said.

"Enyong," Eddie said, trying to focus. "Take control," he said out loud, hoping it made a difference. He felt nothing. None of it was working. Maybe he was the problem. He was thinking too much about everything except the task at hand. "Enyong," he said again, trying to force concentration. He needed this as much as Abasi Enyong needed it. He needed the man gone. He needed to be free of the lunacy so he could get on with his life, mourn his father and leave this place. To that end, he had to accept Abasi Enyong's absoluteness. He was all-knowing. He was everything. He was redemption. The one in whom Eddie would one day find peace. The one who could forgive his sins and tell him it was okay. A day would come when he would stand at Enyong's feet and attest to his faithfulness and his trust in everything right and wise and majestic. "Enyong," Eddie breathed.

Beside him, Abasi Enyong groaned.

Eddie opened his eyes in time to see Abasi Enyong's eyes glowing yellow.

"Your eyes."

"Yes," Abasi Enyong acknowledged. "You let go. I can feel it."

Eddie could feel it too. A silent buzzing at the back of his hand. Unlike the wracking his brain had been enduring all day and more like a serene beat of calm and ease. Everything was okay. Everything was right with the world. Eddie felt like laughing, so he laughed. If his mother had been spared more time on earth, she could have experienced this too. She could have met a god and her life would have changed. If only... if only...

There it was again. A stinging feeling of discomfort as if someone was pulling his memories just out of reach, sucking them up just so he wouldn't get to them.

"Focus," Abasi Enyong said, slipping into his train of thought and causing Eddie's mind to zoom in on Enyong.

Eddie tensed. He shoved Abasi Enyong away and stood as the light in Abasi Enyong's eyes sparked and fizzled out.

"What the hell?" he asked, feeling the peaceful buzz getting louder and less calm in his head. He cringed and put more distance between himself and Abasi Enyong as the god got to his feet as well.

"Edidiong-"

"Seriously, don't call me that."

Eddie held his head, pacing further away. His father was the only person who used to call him "Edidiong". Every time someone else said it, everything hurt. Eddie grabbed the back of his head, willing the buzzing to simmer down. Praying desperately for everything to go quiet again.

"Just calm down and come back to the sofa."

"No," Eddie said, wrenching his hand away when Abasi Enyong tried to take it.

"You're confused and you don't know what's happening to you."

"I can feel bits and pieces missing in my head," Eddie said, shaking his head as he watched the faces of his family dissolve out into blank spaces in his mind.

"It's to be expected. What we're doing is unorthodox. There will be consequences."

"Consequences?" Eddie asked, seething.

"If you would just-"

"I'm losing my father," Eddie screamed. "I'm forgetting my mother. I can feel all of me slipping away the more you try to make me worship you."

"Ed-"

"It's as if worshiping you is wiping them away... wiping me away," he shook his head. "I can't do this. You're just going to have to survive with what you've already got."

Eddie started for the door.

"I'm trying to save our lives," Abasi Enyong blocked his way.

"You do whatever you want," Eddie pushed through. "But leave me out of it."

He banged the door on his way out, praying it would be enough to keep Abasi Enyong from following.