i feel so fat no matter how much I exercise or diet or just not eat I can never lose weight I just feel like I'm gaining it but then when I do eat I bloat like ten times worse than I was and I just feel so big and fat and gross all the time I see all of these bone skinny people and I just want to be skinny so badly like not even a healthy normal body I want the pure bones just nothing but bones and I know that I can never look like that and I want to so badly and anytime I do eat I feel so guilty and I feel like the fattest person on earth I just wish that all the food can be locked up so I can never find it I want nothing more than to starve to death maybe then I'll actually be skinny and good enough but I'm just big and fat and everyone just looks at me and they all think I'm fat and who wants to be neat the fat kid even my face and fingers are fat everything about me is gross and ugly and i just wish i could take it all off and restart but if u couldnt even me conventionally good looking why couldn't I be skinny I can barely even see my ribs anymore and I think even my mom has noticed weight she keeps suggesting diets and I try so hard to not gain anything but still I see my weight go up my face and stomach and thighs and back and hands just keep getting fatter I feel so gross everywhere I go but I can't tell anyone bc they'll all say so you think fat people I gross and ofc not yk all bodies are beautiful I just want to be skinny so bad
