Rules of the World

Throughout one's life they'll undergo numerous challenges, which will make them who they are in the end. Heck, I'm only eighteen years old and I've gone through more challenges than I can count. With that being said, I have personally learned most of my important values through these tough times that I've endured. Just like the way that Layla Meillier, Dave Newman, and Connor Coyne authors in the book Voices from the Rust Belt by Anne Trubek, have gone through tragic and traumatizing challenges to gain the values they need to move on in their life. Many of the values that I have learned over the years have come in handy to get me through other life challenges. One of my most important values that I've learned through a tragic event is empathy, which has made me a better human being.

A vivid recollection that will forever live in my memory, was in 2013 when I was pulled out of class only to find my mother in an empty school hallway, hysterical. Should I be scared, or worried? Is it about my father, or my brother? All the worst scenarios were running through my mind. Just the way that Lalya Meilliers mind was running through scenarios of where her beloved bicycle had been taken after being stolen in the essay "Love and Survival", by Layla Meillier. Finally, by the time we had made it to the privacy of our own car my mother could talk, "Your Grandma Hughes has a very detrimental illness, called breast cancer." Much of what my mother said I didn't understand, granted I was only ten years old but I knew it wasn't good. Meillier was living in Flint, Michigan in the suburbs when her parents broke the news that her first love had been snatched by a thief in the night. As Meillier's response to the theft, she said "At ten, one cries easily, pouts easily, sobs easily, but I could not make a sound" (60). Meillier was in utter shock, and disbelief. Having had challenges like being stolen from at a young age takes a toll on some, and it left Meillier fearful of the world, and being vulnerable was her biggest fear. Like Meillier, after processing this news I was shocked. All I knew at this point was what I could hear my family whisper, which is that cancer kills people. Being introduced to the challenges of the cancer world at such a young age altered my feelings of being vulnerable multiplied through the act of possibly losing a loved one. As Meillier's life progressed, she moved through it cautiously making sure she didn't let her vulnerability show. Eventually Meillier learned to use her vulnerability to her advantage, resulting in an important value held very near and dear in today's society, called empathy. After my Grandma had been diagnosed with breast cancer, I had to sit back and watch her deteriorate at a quickening rate. Attending countless appointments at countless doctors offices, and seeing so many impacted by cancer via someone close to them being diagnosed or themselves having to deal with the struggles. At the end of "Love and Survival" one of the last thing's Meillier said was "I don't typically wear my heart on my sleeve but when others need it, I leave it peeking out from behind the house and let them take it for a week" ( 62). In connection with my experiences of my Grandma's struggles with cancer, I gained the value of compassion and empathy for everyone going through a sickness or watching someone else they love go through the pain whether it be a physical, or mental illness.

Most of my life my family has been considered to be in the middle class economically. October 23th, 2018 changed everything, I got home from high school to witness my father day drinking. Immediately I knew something was wrong. How often do you see your father drunk on the couch on a Tuesday afternoon? Well for me, never, that is until today. Come to find out the power plant that he works at is shutting down, meaning he's laid off until they can find miscellaneous work for him. The weight of not having a job and needing to support a family was the same for Dave Newman the author of "A Middle-Aged Student's Guide to Social Work". Newmans's life was a mess, at forty years old, he was starting all over. Newman's life was being a writer, and a teacher of writing, that's all he'd known. But out of the blue he needed to find a new job, and he went with a Social Worker. Being a young adult and seeing this happen to my father was frightening, all I wanted to do was help. So that's just what I did. I went out and applied for multiple jobs. Finally landing one as a bowling mentor, being able to help out my father and family felt great. Even though the challenge wasn't personally mine it affected my whole family, so I helped. In this experience I understood the true meaning of compassion, which is one of my most important values. Newman once said "I want everywhere to be in our service area, even though I know that is impossible, even though I know it would be worse, that we wouldn't do anyone any good" (Newman 69). In Newman''s words he shows that through his hardship, he still wants to and will put others before helping himself. The compassion Newman had for the many people he helped was all a reward for the challenges that he endured.

Maintaining a job has many challenging aspects, the same goes with raising children. In the essay "Bathtime" by Connor Coyne, Coyne is faced with the consequence of moving back to his hometown Flint, Michigan to raise his family. Oftentimes raising children is being their mentor, when you're new to it often you find yourself responding in the wrong manner. As a freshman in High School it's normal to get a job, most get a customer service job. In my case I was a bowling mentor for 5th and 6th graders. Being a fifteen year old, and the youngest in my family sure didn't put me in a good position for tolerating unruly behavior. Neither does being a first time parent, and living in a city with a water crisis. A majority of the time the children would come to bowling with an abundant amount of energy, resulting in them testing my patiences. In the meantime Coyne had to figure out how he was going to raise two children in a house, and city where the water is unsafe. Coyne says to his oldest daughter "You can wash your hands in it, but don't drink it. Don't you drink it. Even if it's in the middle of the night and you're thirsty, come and wake me up." (Coyne 240). Most of the time Coyne would find himself yelling at his daughters due to them not being able to understand that the water was contaminated. Eventually through many conversations with his oldest daughter of five years old, he recognized the power of patiences with his daughters. On the other hand, for me patiences was a very important value that was learned through not letting my emotions get the best of me, and realizing everyone moves at their own pace.

Many challenges thrown in your pathway are there to teach you the rules of being a good human being. Some are extremely difficult to surpass but most importantly, they teach you how to react, and reflect on other situations as well. As a result of the many challenges my family and I have gone through, we've learned empathy, compassion, and patience. There are many values to be learned and they all come in different forms which are exhibited in Layla Meillier, Dave Newman, and Connor Coyne's essays about their experiences in life.