How bad can it really be (Marvel Harem)

First freind (that isnt a girl)

Come on audiance it's way too early for this....I just woke up do you really wanna know everything about my life?

Gwen:"oh you're finally awake" I noticed she was laying next to me as we were both on the couch in the living room

Where's careless whisper when you need it....anyone wanna help me out here...anyone at all...no...ok whatever

???:"can you stop getting so close to Gwen"
Someone approached me in what looked liked a black suit that had armor built into it.

I looked at him "oh and who are other than uh.....um....nvm I'm not racist" his suit was all black except for the white spider on his chest and his white eyes that looked like Spider-Mans

Gwen:"flash we're just friends it's not like that" blush covered her face which only seemed to piss of 'flash' more

Flash:"my name is Agent Venom and you...whatever the hell your name is...Arena now"

I was perfectly calm...you better not have anything to do with this audiance I made sure I didn't piss him off....then again this is a Harem...

I chuckled "you wouldn't want that....see when I fight I fight to kill and I don't think you wanna die" his voice all of a sudden got very deep as if someone else was talking

Agent venom:"we will not die" he then picked me up by my throat "first we will eat both your arms and both of your legs then we will eat your face so you will be this armless legless thing rolling down the street like a turd in the wind"

I teleport out if his hands and materialize my scythe "I don't know who you are but your dead"

Gwen:"guys stop!" She tried to stop that venom dude only for him to punch her into a wall.

Ok....I'm all about jokes but you hurt a girl and that's where I draw the line

"Ok buddy you want a fight you've got it" I flung my scythe as it impaled him but it didn't stop his charge as we then went flying out of the window as he just kept punching me

Venom:"you think your so big huh and you think your so tough but I'm top dog around here understand!" His tongue licked my face 
As the voice spoke again "you taste delicious I can't wait to eat you"

Am I the only one that thought that was low key sexual if so then ima take the L on this one

we landed and as usual I was on the bottom and he crashed me into a car

"You done?" I then kicked him off doing a kip up as I snapped and Bat country by Avenged Sevenfold blarred as I materialized my scythe twirling it only to taunt him "hit me with your best shot"

He threw a car only to almost hit an old man wearing glasses who was cleaning the outside of his store while listening to music i just sliced the car into pieces as well as other stuff that he kept throwing at the poor old dude....now that I think of it the old dude looked familiar but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

"Ok no more games"i pulled out a flame thrower "I could do this all day bitch" I light up the "Venom" dude only to see my flame blocked as I all of a sudden was crushed by what looked like a force of something

???:"you guys need to stop now!" I looked up to see a girl floating in the air as she had hair that was red...crimson red

Venom:"why are you getting involved?"

???:"because knowing you two you'd destroy half the city....Deadpool what did he do to-wait you're not Deadpool..."

She let venom go only to lift me up with what looked like some sorta telekinesis
"And who are you hot stuff?" I couldn't help but say