Jennie's POV
Here I am, laying on her bed, it's not like this is the first time I've been here, I've practically lived here. But being with her like this, it felt different. She's sleeping with a bit gap on her mouth, she must be pretty tired. It doesn't felt awkward at all, naked under her comforter with her arm under my neck, it almost feels like this was everything I've been waiting for. I didn't mean the sex, lol, but it's a bonus I guess. I can't help it but to feel jealousy in me when my inner insecurity kept thinking is this how she's been with others? How if she wake up then she realized she's actually doesn't want me? Am I enough for her? Looking at her like this make me lowkey wanting to slap her in the face and kissing her at the same time, maybe to erase all the traces of others on her. We're not even talking about this but I've been this possessive already, I'm in trouble.
I couldn't said everything I wanted to her, how shameless of me throwing myself at her like that. I don't want to let go, that was for sure. I will break up with Kai, I have to be honest with him and to myself, and Jisoo deserved all that. I don't want her to think I'm thinking I'm playing with her heart. I looked at the clock on her wall, it's 7.10pm then looked back at her. How can I be so stupid not realizing how strong this feeling within me before? But in my defense, it's her the one that always caught up in stupid scandal issues. So that's a good point for me to feel insecure right? How can you believe that your beautiful and charming bestfriend have fallen for you, right? She can get anyone she wants, I am well aware of that fact. She rustled a bit and tighten her arm to make me closer to her, that's when our chests touched and she immediately opened her eyes. I looked at her and smiled a bit but she blushed at the touch, she's kinda cute when she got flustered like that.
"Don't even bother to close your eyes again, I know you're awake." I said to her and her face turned red. She looked at me shyly but didn't move her arms on me, it almost like we're in staring contest now. "Are you hungry? Let's have dinner..?" She breaks the silence. "Dinner? You wanna eat me again?" I teased her but I honestly hungry, it's just too fun to watch her being flustered like that. "You have other menu on your mind? We can arrange that but we need to eat now. I can hear your stomach growled few time Jendeuk." She said with her sly smile. Then she let go of me and stood up to dress up. There she was, in front of her closet, naked, looking for her shirt. How come she didn't even think of me? My heart about to get burst seeing her naked glory like that. With that, I felt myself get a bit hot, this is Jisoo's effects I guess. "Baby.. it's not like this is the first time you see me naked. Come on, put on some clothes and have our dinner." She said with her back facing me. She said baby, I'm her baby now. But wait, she always called me that even back then but now I'm feeling giddy hearing that from her. In order to play her game, I stood up and gushed towards her, looking for her shirt for me to wear, hoping for I can get some reaction from her seeing me naked in front of her like this. She turned to me and smile but I definitely saw her eyes darken, then she suddenly grabbed my left boob in a flash and smirked, I was stunned at her playful yet dirty attitude. "Hot..." She whispered to my ear and left me in her room alone, leaving me speechless.
After a moment of processing all that, I dressed up and walked to her kitchen, her confidence face just now turned into a confused expression, reading the cooking instruction at the back of the packet. I took the packet from her, I know it will be useless even if she read it 20 more times. I suggested ordering for delivery since I still felt weak from our activity earlier, she really drained me out. But maybe it's because I didn't get enough rest lately, it makes sense right? Maybe we need to repeat that after we recharge our energy next time, I don't want lose to her. Judging from her body language, I bet she's waiting for me to talk about us first.
****
She's enjoying her chicken too much, I might didn't even exist in front of her right now. But this oddly felt complete, felt like home. Having meal with your loved one under the same roof, it just feels right, like I said, it's home. She's my home now. Unconsciously, I chuckled at her then she looked at me as if asking what's wrong, I just shake my head at her. I need to talk to her, she need to know how I feel about her, about us. Well, I just barged into her house and being aggressive and all. "Jisoo.. I love you." I said. She choked on her food upon hearing that from me and I passed her a glass of water. Her face was red, but it's not because of she's blushing, she almost died from choking on her food, from her chicken. OMG. Disbelief displayed on her face, I just sighed at her, Jisoo and her slow brain. Jisoo.exe has stopped working.
"Put down your chicken, don't say anything, just listen to me. Okay?" I said and she just nodded, putting down her chicken on her plat. "Jisoo, I love you. I'm sure of that now. I don't want to lose you. Being separated from you all this time was a pure torture, doesn't matter how I've tried to ignore this feeling, keeping myself busy or divert my attention to someone else. It's you, always you at the back of my mind. Honestly, I've been thinking almost every seconds I wanted to contact you or come to see you but all I did was sitting in my car, waiting for yours to pass in or our to your apartment. It's tinted, so yeah, I didn't get to catch a glimpse of you. Like an idiot, looking at our photos in my phone, hoping for your name would come out, text or call. Missing you was hard, it's unfair how I easily fall for you. I mean, it's so easy to fall in love but it's so hard when we missed someone. I will break up with Kai, I already made this decision long ago, it's just.. I needed a push I guess. I wanted to tell my family first how I feels about you, I need them to know. This decision was not made based on impulse or reckless thinking, it's not because we had sex. I need you to know that I loves you and I'm ready." I finished and her tears started to roll on her cheeks. I wiped them with my thumb and kissed her forehead.
"Jennie.. I don't know what to say. I mean, are you sure? I'm gladly to accept any of your decisions." She said to me while sobbing, unable to say anything else. I hugged her to comfort her. "I'll meet Kai tomorrow, then I will tell my family about this. Is that okay?" I tried to assured her. "You're not leaving me right? I don't want to be left here after hearing all that from you. How if Kai doesn't accept your decision? How if your family doesn't us to be together? I refused to be left with this feelings now.." She sadly said to me. "Whatever happen tomorrow, it won't change how I feel about you. And stop thinking I'm leaving you, this time, I'll fight for us. Put aside all the negative thinking you have right now, I'm yours. I'll make this work, for us.. I don't want to lie to Kai and I don't want to keep you as my secret. As for my family, I'm pretty sure everything will be fine." I said to her and tighten my hug on her. She didn't say anything else and just sobs silently under my embrace.
****
We're having Netflix marathon now but I can't help to feel anxious thinking about tomorrow. I've arranged to meet Kai over lunch tomorrow. I felt bad for him, he's a good guy. I can felt her sincerity when he's with me. But I cannot ignore my feeling towards Jisoo. Back when we're teenager, I knew I've liked her, but reading the situation, I just ignored it. We both ended up with somebody else and I chose to go with the flow. Maybe I felt numb, after all the ignoring, I thought my feelings for her was gone, or maybe I refused to accept that back then, until she suddenly confessed to me. Then all the misery when we're apart, all the jealousy I've felt when I see her with someone else, it make sense now. I didn't fall out of love of her, the feeling just there, living within me, being suppressed by my emotions, it gets drowned. I didn't know a simple confession will wake it up, I didn't even realized it gets stronger over the years. I never felt this ready to fight for something within me. Just like Jisoo, I refuse to surrender and left with this feelings, not without fight, not being unsaid and unexpressed.

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