Darling (a Tom Hiddleston fanfic)

5: Becca, a strange place and an offer

Not his actual daughter.  Ah, the plot thickens.  I shift in the sand, and then turn my body so I’m facing him instead of the ocean.  He doesn’t look at me, lost in his own thoughts.

“Well, you just made it to my most interesting people list.” I lean toward him, wondering how much he will tell me.  I’m sure Sam and Rach must know everything, but I somehow want to hear it from him.  Rosie was right—it’s his story, he needs to tell it.

Tom smiles and then finishes his beer.  We are quiet for some time, but it’s not awkward.  We’ve breached something, and I don’t know if either of us is completely ready for it.  We’ve just met, after all. The fact that he’s best friends with my sister and brother in law, has given us both, it seems, a good sense of familiarity.  The idea that, if someone you love speaks highly of someone else, then they automatically get a free pass.

“It’s a long story, and I don’t know if it’s a good idea to get into it.” He says finally, and looks at me.  I nod, understanding, though I admit that I’m a little disappointed. 

“Okay, that’s fair.” I sip my beer, and lean back into the sand.  It’s cool, and then warm under my legs, and as I move around a bit, it molds to the shape of my body.  I pull the hood of my sweatshirt up, so I can put my head down, without getting sand in my hair.

“The short version…” He glances at me out of the side of his eye, and then lies back next to me, putting his arms up and over his head.  I watch his legs stretch out, his shirt rising up, pulling from his waistband as he stretches up.  He seems about twice as long as me, stretched out, and I can’t help but curl up, turning on my side to face him.  I put my hands under my cheek, watching his silhouette.

“Short version.” I urge him on.

“I was married to Becca.  Gemma is her daughter.  Becca left, I stayed.” He says this staring up at the night sky, and I get the strange feeling that he hasn’t had this conversation with many people.  I raise up onto my elbow, supporting the side of my head with my hand.  I picture him married to Becca.  I picture them together, and something in my stomach lurches slightly.  Like a kick right under my belly button. 

“She left her daughter? And you stayed…” I whisper softly.  I’m not a mother.  The thought of it scares me to death, but I still cannot imagine ever leaving my child.  Especially when I’m perfectly capable of staying and raising her.  Tom turns his head, and his eyes are dark in the moonlight. 

“Here I am.  Did you know Becca?” He asks.

“I did. Not well, but we went to high school together.” I swallow, my throat feeling dry.  I try to remember that girl I knew.  “She was always very outgoing and confident.  Beautiful.” I press my lips together.  Becca was the definition of free spirited.  A gorgeous girl, who always had boys after her.  But she was never one to be tied down to anyone.  More than one or two fights had to be broken up because of her flippant trysts with different boys in the neighborhood.

“Just the other day I got the word that I’m Gemma’s legal guardian now.  It’s something I’ve been fighting for, with my lawyer, for four years.   It was finally finalized.” He sighs, then chuckles softly.  “Funny how one of the worst decisions of my life could eventually lead to the best damn thing in my life.” He speaks softly, almost to himself.  He words are lined with gratitude, and I can almost tell that even he is still in shock that it’s finally happened.

His words are surprising to me, though I’m not sure why.  I blink, and watch his mouth widen and turn into a bright, nearly gut wrenching smile.  He’s brilliantly happy.

“That’s wonderful.  Really.” I say, wanting so much to know the whole story.  But I can tell he’s not the sort.  If he wants to share, it will come.  If not, then I should be happy with this.