Beauty and the Beat

Beauty and the Beat (39)

He loved me. He actually loved me. He loved me… but he didn’t want to be with me.

I didn’t know exactly how to feel about that. Should I have been happy, or should I have been sad? He loved me but he still didn’t want to be with me.

The next time I saw my brother, I had mixed feelings. I was thrilled that Ethan wasn’t actually engaged to Anna again, but I was pissed that Riley had let me believe that he was while he was actually the one that was truly engaged to her.

And that was another thing. I was so angry that he was engaged to Anna of all people. Not only did she hate me, but she was also his best friend’s ex-fiancée.

I slapped Riley on the back of his head as he sat at the kitchen table eating cereal Saturday morning. He choked on the spoon and spat the cereal back out into the bowl.

“What the hell was that for?” he demanded, rubbing the back of his head.

“Oh, nothing, future Mr. Ryder,” I sneered.

He blinked at me. “I don’t think that’s how that works.”

I felt my face drain color and turn white. “Oh, no,” I groaned. “Her last name is going to be Walker. I’m going to have the same last name as Anna. Oh, kill me now, we’re going to be a part of the same family.”

Riley rolled his eyes. “You’re only going to have the same last name as her until you get married,” he reminded me.

This only made me frown. I really didn’t want to think about marriage. I knew who I wanted to marry, but there was no way I was going to be able to because he didn’t want me.

Riley noticed almost immediately that something was bothering me. He frowned.

“You alright?” he asked me.

I nodded, even though I wasn’t so sure that that was the truth. When I thought about Ethan, my chest burned and I found it difficult to breathe. I just didn’t want to think about him but I just couldn’t help it. He was always on my mind.

“Someone’s thinking about a guy,” Riley guessed, as if he was reading my mind. “But you’re not happy about it. Problems in paradise with Maxxon?”

I felt myself twitch. I hadn’t even thought about Maxxon. This only made me feel even worse than I already did. I didn’t love Maxxon, not like he loved me. And I didn’t think I ever could.

My heart belonged to Ethan Deveraux and I hated it.

“Maxxon and I… We’re not… I don’t…” I stammered, having no idea what I was supposed to say. “We’re not… I just… Ugh.”

I felt like my head was going to explode. My heart was telling me Ethan but my brain was telling me Maxxon. I knew Maxxon was the better choice. It was obvious. He was my age, he hadn’t been my teacher, and he wanted to be with me.

But… I didn’t want to be with him. That was the awful part. Everything made sense, everything fit, except I just didn’t feel the same way. So there was no way it was ever going to work out.

Riley seemed confused by my sudden tongue-twistedness. I still had no idea what I was supposed to say. There had been something going on between Maxxon and me, but it was something that could no longer continue.

I let out a sigh, no longer wanting to talk about this. I didn’t even want to think about it anymore. I was starting to get a headache. I turned toward the front door without even saying another word to Riley.

“Where are you going?” Riley asked, turning back toward his cereal.

“To Bennett’s,” I answered. I was really hoping that spending time with my best friend would get my mind off of everything. “We made plans and I’m going over to his house to pick him up.”