playboy shit - mcyt/dsmp

dreaming of sitting on his uni mattress pad

tw/cw: swearing, nsfw jokes, teasing

#

Fuck it: Alex's POV

I hate him.

He's this dumbass business kid that peaked in high school and acts like he's still there. His stats are everything—not to mention, they're nowhere near bad, and this sends his head into the clouds. Who made this man a god?

No—I fucking hate him.

Except I don't, because I'm sitting on his literal hardwood room floor, listening to him ramble about this girl he got with while he throws his newly cleaned clothes (that I carried up four flights of stairs) into drawers. The conversation is growing one-sided, as I have no interest in what his favorite sneaky link had to offer him over the weekend. For fucks sake, it was supposed to have been me.

Okay, okay, that's pushing it but he knows it. He knows how much I want him again. One intoxicated night, and here I am, addicted not only to marijuana and nicotine but the whole ass human being that I call a friend. A fucking friend—my smoke buddy, the dude that literally helps me hook up with other people.

I think I'm being punished.

Fucking new year's eve. It's always new year's eve, isn't it? Here's the anecdote: The champagne had been popped, and nobody—minus those who grew up in wealthy families—likes champagne but the host took interest in us enjoying the light piss colored alcohol to bring us into the new year. An accessory, nothing more nothing less. Therefore, I took a glass into my hands without any complaints, and patiently sat sophisticated waiting for the hour to hit that of a new day—midnight, if you will. His drunken ass sat next to me, and I pulled him close as a means to stabilize him. In my brain, I'm being a good friend, pondering as to how I'll tuck him into bed tonight and deliver my homiesexual goodnight kiss. But that didn't end up fucking happening!

So I'm sitting there, the shitfaced boy on my nonexistent titties, as the clock is ticking and somebody in the room says, "Yo, where my new year's kiss at?" All of me was like 'now why would you say that, Parker?' (The gag is, I really don't know who said this but they aren't important anyway) But yes, donde está mi nuevo beso de años? I didn't think much of it. Sapnap was still slurring before me, and we started with the cheer session, with the cliche clinking of glass filling the already stuffy air. And then the ball dropped, and suddenly, there were lips on mine and it was drowning out the drunken excitement around us. Fireworks were exploding outside, actual sparks flying with the windows catching the leftover debris. The explosion of a part favor drew us apart. Fuck Parker and his party favor.

And the rest of the night is history—woo yay! No. Anyone with their dirty little mind could figure out what happened next. Mine won't let me forget it. But anyway, back to this motherfucker and his room.

"And then she pulls out a strap, and I was like 'how did that thing even fit in your purse?' and—" He messily tucks the articles into the tight space, "I was embarrassed," He said, crossing his arms, "because it was so much bigger than my own."

"I'm sure that isn't so." I laugh softly, "I mean, we could test that theory." He narrows his eyes at me, and I avert my gaze with fake pride, "I think it's—"

"You're just never gonna give up, are you?" He sighs, falling onto his bed. I'm so quick to join his dumbass (which I suppose makes me one too), settling on the edge.

"Why should I?"

"That was supposed to be a rhetorical question."
"A what?"

He shakes his head, not looking at me (that's a fucking issue, okay? yeah), "Nevermind, forgot you failed that English class."

"I failed the exam, thank you."

Of course, now, he's smirking between our remarks as he attacks me concerning my criminal justice degree requiring just as much English as it does learning the stupid laws of the land. But I drag the conversation on further and further to see that awfully handsome look on his face for his love for teasing me (and others, unfortunately) becomes very apparent while he's in the act.

"Anyways, you're missing the point! I got hit from the back by a hot girl!"

I suppressed the gritting of my teeth, "And you liked it?"

"And I liked it."

I rolled my eyes again, long and hard, "Never thought the bottom lifestyle would suit you, and yet here we are."

"Oh, wouldn't you know?"

Hm, in all honesty, this bitch makes me wanna gag and choke on that big fat strap.

And if anyone hasn't guessed already, I mean literally.

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793 words

y'all I ship like way too many people together and it shows...literally my toxic trait.

n e ways, tell me why this chapter was not chaptering

I'll be introducing some ocs in the next couple of chapters! I really love them but I don't expect everyone to feel the same about these fiends :p