Avan calls a meeting as soon as we tell him about our encounter. We all file in and take a seat. I sit across from Josh and Jacob, Avan between us.
"They've found us." Avan begins.
"No kidding." Josh sits in his chair, motionless, his eyes trained on me even though he was replying to Avan. I can tell he's waiting for my reaction. The first emotion I feel.
Jacob speaks up for the first time. "How do we know? What if it's a fluke? We don't know if that guy was one of them."
"Actually, we do. We've been monitoring the situation for weeks now and we've found that they know where Kailah is, meaning where we are."
"Well, what do we do?" I ask.
"What do you mean, Kailah?" Avan asks.
"They've found us. We've got their attention, so how are we going to use it? We can't just sit in here and pretend nothing's wrong when we could be doing something."
"We do have a plan, but, we're not sure whether you'll agree to it." Avan says, glancing around uneasily.
"You know I will-" I start, but Avan cuts in.
"Not you. Him." Avan says, motioning to Josh. He sighs and looks at me. I shrug and offer a small smile to reassure him.
"Let's hear it then." Josh says.
Avan pauses for a moment, considering ways to say his idea. The room is completely silent, all attention on Avan.
"I'm not going to sugar coat this." Avan says firmly. "You need to get caught, Kailah."
"No way." Josh says, standing up.
"Absolutely not."
"Josh, stop." I try to whisper, but he waves his hand to silence me.
"You are not sending her to them." There is a hint of pain in his voice, almost pleading. "They'll kill her!"
"No they won't." Avan says sternly.
"How do you know, Avan? The girl holds the key to the destruction of their whole government and you don't think that they'll kill her the second they get the chance?"
"Stop!" I shout, slowly rising to my feet. "I'll do it."
"What? Kailah, you can't." Josh says, obvious pain in his voice.
"Yes I can, Josh. I'm a big girl. And besides, they have Macy. If I hold the key to the destruction of their government then the first thing they'll want is answers. Why kill the person who could tell you how to stop their government ever being destroyed? Avan has worked on this whole scheme for nineteen years now. He knows what he's doing." I feel like crying but the tears don't seem to show, hiding behind my blank emotions.
"I'll come with you then." Josh says, on the verge of breaking.
"Josh, no."
"You're not doing this alone!"
"I have to!" I shout across the room. I just stare at him, watching the emotions cross his face. Anger, sadness, confusion, frustration. I watch a tear slide down his cheek. I turn towards the door before I break and run to him, promising I'll never leave. That's what I'd do. I'm predictable.
I run to my room, the only place that can offer me some refuge.
I curl up into a ball beside my bed. Now that I know my job, my duty to this group of people that sat in front of me, the pressure has never felt so heavy. I thought I was safe before. I wasn't. Nowhere is safe in this world for me. Nowhere I can run where they won't find me.
