If a door closes a window will open. Is that true though?
“When that door closes for me, I felt like everything closed right just in front of me. And there's no window that opened to lighten up the home I thought I was in. There's no window that opened up, but just darkness that slowly disclose me to the world.”
When things disclose as a disclosure it feels like a slow torture. It will slowly kills you, slowly carve a scar within you, and definitely cut your veins and slowly stopping your heart to beat and slowly getting yourself numb and emotionless.
“Mas mabuti na magsara ang lahat ng isang bigla kesa utay-utay at utay-utay ka ring papatayin bawat minuto.” I graze my eyes to Paulo.
He's already unconscious. Sa baba ng alcohol tolerance n'ya, paniguradong lasing na lasing na s'ya. He won't hear my words. He won't hear my pain. He won't hear any single thing, and I hope he really won't because I don't want him to regret what he did. I don't want him to dwell on the past again and blame himself like a madman.
“Bakit mo parin tinuloy?” I'm with my friends that keeps their eyes close to us when we got into the relationship that made us happy to the core.
“For the sake of happiness, for the sake of being his even just a for month, I'm willing to take the torture, for the sake of his wish I willingly did.” They are all the witness of all of it.
They see how I smile through the pain. They saw me, hug him with tears on my eyes, they saw me kissed his forehead with all the pain I had. They all saw me break down when he leaves me begging to let him go. They are all the witness of my misery yet they let me, they let me swell, they let me heal my bruises on my own, they hadn't tell a thing about it.
“L-Love, I'm sorry.” While they're on silence I was staring at Paulo the whole time as Ivan Natividad carries him on his shoulders and let him sleep on it while caressing his hair. Then he spoked.
“Paul, shh, stop crying I'm here.” The guy rub his back and held his hand for comfort.
I know Ivan Natividad knows what's going on and he knows everything because he's been on Paulo's side since then.
“I-Ivan? I-Ice, tell him I'm sorry. He won't be mad right? S-Sabi n'ya, hindi s'ya kailanman magagalit s-sakin, tell me do you think it's true? Ivan I left him, a-alone.” Ivan looks at me and smiled sadly at me.
“No of course not, he told you that right? Then it's true, have he ever lied to you?” He asks while eyes still on him.
“Never,” Paulo crouches away from Ivan and slightly push the guy away from him. Ivan chuckled at him.
“Ang baho mo, ayoko sa'yo.” Paulo said pinching his nose close.
“Alam ko, you never liked me though.” A painful smile passed his lips while he fixed Paulo's hair tucking it on his ears and caressing his cheeks.
“Pasensya na, you're not him. You're a good person Ivan, but you're not him.” His eyes are still close leaning on the couch back rest. He shakes his head.
“Yeah, Paulo tell me,” Ivan's voice is tender, soft and in low tone. Careful and sweet. So careful and sweet that it hurts me.
“Hmm?”
“If I'll give you chance today, I'm giving a chance to go to him and be with him for the rest of your life, forget everything else, forget your family, forget anything that would come your way, let's say I am a fairy godfather granting your wish. Would you go to him?” I looks at Ivan shockingly. Hawak n'ya na ngayon ang kamay ni Paulo na patuloy hinihigit ang tastas na disenyo ng kanyang pantalon.
