Black Mirrors

Chapter 2- Mellifluous

"No!",she screamed as she quickly sat up,her heart beat was abnormally fast and tears flowed from her cheeks,she pulled out her new cell phone under the pillow and checked the digital time in the screen, 3:29am. She curled herself on the bed putting her chin on her knees and wrapping her hands around her legs. Why do I always wake up like this?,I hate my new life. She hated the fact she woke up from nightmares every morning, she was profusely sweating,she heard voices in her head,she even hallucinated this days. Am I going mad?. She asked her self. She sighed,rolling her eyes. I badly need to see a psychologist,but who would listen to a demented seventeen year old girl who had killed the man she loved,not in an act of self defense but out of vengeance. I'm a cold blooded killer. She shivered at her thoughts and wrapped her hands tighter around her legs.

If I see a psychologist I might get better, the hallucinations might stop,i'll be better off there. Her inner thoughts engaging in a battle. But they'll judge me,and lock me up in a mental institute,they'll point fingers at me and poke me. I'll be isolated and laughed at,I'll go completely mad there!. The hallucinations will become worse. No!,I'm not going there,I'm better off here.
Why did I shoot him?,am i that much of a demonic monster?.why wasn't pa there to save me?. Why does pa hate me?. She grunted in frustration. She hated her father's nonchalant, controlling and temperamental attitude. Maybe that's why mum left, but why didn't she take me along with her?. Maybe she knew that I'm jinxed and I had always had bad luck from the start,that's why she left without me,maybe that's why pa hates me.
What if mum hadn't left?,she thought. Maybe my life would be different?,maybe I would have grown up like every other normal little girl's,with bed time stories and good night kisses, maybe I would've had tiaras and barbie dolls. Maybe I would've liked pink and girly dresses,maybe Pa wouldn't hate me. Maybe I would've believed in Cinderella stories,may be i wouldn't be scared of the dark and always have to sleep with my night lamp on,maybe he wouldn't have tied me to a chair,gagged me and left me locked up in a dark room for several hours. Maybe I wouldn't always have to fear being raped time and again. Maybe pa wouldn't always have to deal out blows and beat me till I'm bleeding or unconcious. Maybe he might be more caring and attentive, may be he'd have all always been there to save me or I would have never even been raped. I might have never even met Charles and all those other men,maybe Charles would still be alive.
Tears dropped uncontrollably from her eyes. What do they all see in me?. Why am I always their prey?. Why do they molest me?. I hate my life!. May be I'm just a whore!. Am i that disgusting?,maybe i'm just trash. That's why they do it,trash doesn't need permission before dirt is thrown into it.That's why Charles did it,because I'm trash.
She felt light headed and nauseous. I hate pink, it always makes me nauseous every morning, I hate my new room,it's too pink and girly.I hate my new life,I hate my old life,my life sucks!. I wish mum took me,I wish I was never born,I wish I'm dead. She felt sick she slowly made her way to the bathroom, she threw up at the sink,she felt woozy and tired. She clung onto the sink for support,she kept rinsing her mouth as new waves of nausea hit her. She threw up a lot,her stomach felt empty. She rinsed the sink and washed her face. She sat on the tiled bathroom floor,leaning her back against the clean white tiled walls,she closed her eyes and chewed her lips waiting for the nausea to wear off.

She heard laughter in her head,it was Charles. She saw him laugh at her,it was a heart melting laugh,he had laughed that way many times,like the first time she ever kissed,he had kissed her and she was stiff, unmoving from her leaned in position even after the kiss was over. Her eyes were still closed. He laughed at her,and she blushed,embarrassed by her actions. He had pulled her closer and kissed her again. They both laughed this time. I'll never hear him laugh again. I killed that laughter the moment I pulled the trigger.
She pulled her self back to reality,she stood up and walked lazily back to her room,the room looked brighter. She strode to the window,the stars had began to disappear,she walked back to her bed and picked up her cell phone. 5:59am. The phone started vibrating and ringing out loudly, she grunted the fucking alarm.Its time to get ready for school. She turned off the alarm and peeled off her clothes from her skin.

First day of school and I feel this shitty. This is probably gonna turn out to be the worst day of my life. She secured her towel around her body and went to the bathroom,she brushed her teeth first at the sink. Shower or Jacuzzi?, she asked her self after brushing her teeth. She eyed the jacuzzi warily. She rolled her eyes and headed for the tube she called the shower, she slid the glass door of the big tube open and stepped into it. She regulated the heater and turned on the water.

At first it was pleasant,she washed her body with the expensive scented soap,she started rinsing her naked form when she started hallucinating the water from the shower was blood. She rinsed quickly,opened the glass sliding door and stepped out of the tube.

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If you all liked the first and this second chapter pls VOTE and COMMENT on each chapter,my writing might be a little unprofessional now but pls criticize to make this work better..... Pls,pls,pls vote on each chapter,even the prologue it means a lot to me and it'll help me write more amazing chapters and update faster.
I know you all don't know my lead character's name but I promise I'll introduce the characters properly in the next chapter...
XOXO... TAMARA GADE..