♥♥♥
She is the most wonderful person I have ever met. When it came to loving , I simply didn't. To me, love was a sign of weakness, something I could never dare to show, and yet now she has me on my knees. She is very far from the worlds view of perfect, but those imperfections of hers are exactly what make her perfect to me.
Her arms are the home I never seemed to have. The way she holds me, so full of love, true unconditional love, it feels so very safe. Nothing has ever felt safe in my life, that is until her. She engulfs me in something so comforting, like a warm blanket on the coldest winter night. Her eyes, they are the most beautiful I have ever seen. They are nothing different to most, but to me they are something so magical, so piercing, they seem to engulf my entire body in a warm flame. It makes my stomach flutter, a feeling I thought I'd never feel, a feeling that is usually unwelcome, suddenly is greeted at the door. Her hands, so very small, they have picked up countless items, done so much hard work, they deserve to rest easy in mine. They are so very special to me, I wish to know every small detail of her hands, every crease, every small scar, I wish to know them better than I know my own. Her body, it is truly beautiful, but honestly, how it looks means nothing to me. No matter how much she could ever change, I will love her just as much. I will love every stretch mark, every mole, every freckle, I would kiss them softly and whisper how much I love every inch of her.
I adore when she rambles. She gets very focused on things, she forgets her surroundings, it's quite... precious. It's endearing. It makes me realize just how much I care for her, every bit of her. When she's in that trance, talking about every detail, planning out moves in the game she's playing, talking about her favorite music, I fall so much more deeply into this red warmth. The bits of excitement that spark from her when she goes into detail about every move she is making in the game, how she can judge someone's movement, their rank, their level of skill, all in one go, is truly magical to me. Whenever it happens, whenever she goes into her little trance, describing every detail to her game plan, listing every attribute, I simply listen. It's one of the few times I will go quiet, simply to hear her speak. I could sit and listen for hours, truly, and that is the most showing of my love for her, because I am usually unable to show my attention to anything for more than 5 minutes. But since she is so special to me, so warm, so intent on rambling out every detail, I could literally listen until the world started to crumble, And even then, I would continue to hang onto every word that came from her soft lips.
I used to ask myself what love truly was, because I never seemed to feel it for others. I love my family and my friends, I do, but to really truly love some stranger, give them all your trust and be truly vulnerable, it is something I am still learning, but i think i have quite a grasp on what love truly is. Love used to be a game to me, it was nothing but a word, people said they loved me, wanted to be with me, and I never felt the same. But she has always been different, even since the beginning. I think love at first sight is a cliché, but knowing how much you're gonna love someone from the first glimpse of them, it is not. Love transcends time, it passes through lives, I have cared for her past life after past life, and I won't stop in this one. She has always been my person, and still is.
When we are away, I feel like something is missing. As stale of a concept as it may seem, It genuinely feels like a dark cloud is over my life when she is gone. I could survive without her. A person is whole without a significant other, but I want this life with her. My choice is and may well always be to be beside her. Because I have realized what I truly want in this life, is to support her through the hardest times. To be her rock, as she is mine, to be someone to hold her when she is breaking down, because no one could ever be as special as she is to me.
I will always care for her no matter the state of her health. No matter if she needs to be alone, no matter if she needs to cry, no matter if she breaks down, I will help her however I can. If I must stand away because she needs to breathe alone to feel better then I will love her from afar. If she feels she needs to push me away out of fear I will assure her she is royalty to me, that she is the best she could be. If she needs time to understand herself, time to sort her problems, I will stand by and help her the best I possibly can. I will always choose to be by her side.
I don't know if she realizes how much she truly means to me, possibly because i cannot find the right words to describe it. I feel like no matter the words I say, I cannot show just how much she really matters. She is blunt at times, she can be cold, and I think that is the most beautiful thing, the most powerful thing. She is the person I have always needed in my life, and I think I may be the one she has always needed as well. Her blunt words keep me from diving under, from losing myself in this cold harsh ocean. She is the strongest, most significant person to ever grace this planet. To ever grace me.
I have made mistakes in my past. I didn't love her as I should have, and I hope to get a chance to reclaim that. I've realized how much she truly means to me, how she will always be an angel with the brightest halo in my eyes. How she will always be my person, and I hope I am hers too.
