Blue Flames

Chapter 42

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A sob escaped. I gritted my teeth against another one, yet tears would not stop. 

Oh God. Did I kill someone? The thought fogged up my mind. 

I had attacked someone and drank their blood. That was all I could think of.

Panic wrung my lungs and sent my heart into a frenzy. Blood rushing to my ears, I stumbled my way back to my room and snatched one of my daggers from where I kept it near my pillow. My hands shook uncontrollably. Tears blurred my vision. 

The tip of the blade dug into my chest. All it would take was one firm push and the dagger would be lodged in my heart. One push and I would rid the world of the insanity in my blood.

A thought popped to my head right then, a distant memory that piereced through the mist of panic and horror.

"I'll be the first to put a stake through my heart," I had told Arthur when he asked if I felt any vampiric tendencies.

"Don't," he had said, "just tell me. If you feel different, tell me first."

"Okay, I promise. I'll tell you as soon as I feel the need to rip someone's throat out for blood."

That had been my reply. I had promised him. And now the moment had come.

The dagger dropped to the ground. I went back to the bathroom, washed my face one last time, steeled my nerves and went out. I didn't need to get out of my room. Because when I opened the door, Arthur was right there.

He looked at my hands, shaking and pink from blood that wouldn't wash off. His gaze scanned my face. Then he was inside, locking the door behind him and gathering me in his arms.

I broke down.

Fat tears rolled down my face until Arthur's shirt was soaked through. There was a boulder in my throat, shutting the air out of my system. I never remembered crying like I did now. Not since uncle Robert died.

Was I already mourning myself? my sanity?

The thought echoed in my head, drawing me from the pond of gloom I was drowning in. Arthur pulled away, his hands on my shoulders.

"Alright, go take a shower."

I ran my hands through my hair and shook my head. "The blood. I have to know where it came from."

"From the fridge in my study," Arthur replied, "you drained two bottles of blood, and left the third on the floor."

It took a few moments for his words to sink in. My knees almost buckled. Breath left my lungs in a loud woosh. Relief lightened my heart.  I sighed and closed my eyes. I hadn't killed anyone.

The distasteful fact that I actually drank blood paled in comparison to my relief.

"It stained my floor."

I snorted and opened my eyes. Arthur looked amused, but I could sense his worry and determination through the bond. I took a deep breath and nodded.

"Okay, I'll take a shower and then we'll talk."

"Should I come with you? earlier you said that we'll talk after you take a nap, and look what happened." He clicked his tongue. "I really shouldn't leave you on your own again. Let's shower together."