How could i be so stupid?

The look

11. August 

First day of school after a long summer vacation. All my friends have been out partying the last day of summer, but I have been home with my big sister Gemma. Gemma is two years older than me, and we have allot of fun together. 

Dear Diary

We arrived at the school very early today, 8:11 am. When I say we I mean myself and my best friend Zayn. Nothing had changed at school. The same nerds sitting on their PC's doing whatever they like to do and then the football guys that acts like assholes then us. My friend group is pretty smal, it's me, Zayn, Niall, Barbarra and Stan. 

I got to the first class actually a little late because I needed to use the bathrooms after all the water I drank because of mye anxiety.

 It was Nature and Sciense... I hate Nature and Sciense, But when I came in the doors a little bit too late I saw him. I saw Louis, Louis TOMLINSON, the most popular guy at school. I had no idea that he was going to be in my class so I was shocked. Everyone looked at me. When I say everyone I mean EVERYONE also Louis. Then after what felt like two years the teacher finally said that I could find a seat.

Nobody knows that I am gay except from my Sister Gemma and my mom Anne. At my school it's nothing wrong about being gay, but its not "cool" either, so i've kept it to my self, for now.

Then it happened again, on the same day! He looked at me. I felt like I was about to die. Why did he look at me? do I look weird? do I have food in my face? I don't know and I don't care because Louis Tomlinson the coolest guy at school the captain of the football team has looked at me twice today!

When I got home from school that day, of course I told everything to my sister not to my mother though, that would be a little awkward. I have never thought that I had feelings for Louis, but damn I did know that he looked good, everyone knows that. 

This is probably very cliche to write, but that night I dreamt of him. And I had a feeling that he might have done it aswell.