it's just chemistry

ten

      (lowercase intended)

waking up on a monday morning was something el used to look forward to. she loved the feeling of waking up early, taking a hot shower, enjoying a nice bowl of cereal or her special breakfast and reading over her notes before school

but now it was a completely different story

she never let other people's words get to her, and that's what her father always admired about her. she was very headstrong, she was very resilient and she never let words get to her head

not even the worst of arguments between the two of the words of others got to her

but here she was, standing in front of her bathroom mirror, trying to pick apart the flaws about herself. she would turn side to side and constantly think about what was wrong with her. school never helped either, after what mike said about her it became hard to even just walk down the halls and see other women look different than her, it just fuelled her hidden insecurities more than she would like to admit

he was right and she hated how his words would stick around in the back of her head. she was just a freak, she had nothing and she was nothing..

sure she had her differences but she's always been so closed off, she had secrets and a past of her own that she'll never share, which is why she was so confused on why she was considered the freak. yeah she was used to it, but why did it even start? she always thinks to herself. she's acts no different, she's just smart and quiet. but i guess in her school that wasn't the norm

when in reality it should be

she just wished she could have friends, friends who cared about their education and were good influences, not ones who got drunk at parties and flunked all their classes for the fun of it.. she just wanted a good group of people to be around, but ever since she was little people seen her as different

in elementary she was seen as different because of her really short hair. they would always make fun of her, they would call her a boy and they would taunt her constantly about it. in middle school she was quiet, she didn't have social skills due to friends or lack thereof. and in high school, when el finally got her stuff together, it still wasn't enough.. it will never be enough

she wanted to be more than just viewed as a teachers pet, or a freak. she just wanted to be equal to others, but that doesn't mean she'll ever change herself to fit in

"dad, why doesn't anyone wanna be friends with me?" el asked while looking at her father, sitting at the table eating their special breakfast—eggo extravaganza, it's something that hopper made for el one day when she wasn't feeling her best.. eggos, whipped cream, chocolate and candies, where can you go wrong?

"i don't know kid. people are just... well you know, people. and honestly people suck. but i know you, and i know how smart you are, and how sweet you are. and that'll get you even further than they ever will. so one day when you're super successful and they're stuck at the bottom with nothing else to do in their lives, it'll be worth it. life will be worth it, and if you want friends. i promise you it'll come around, just trust time" he spoke

el nodded slowly and got up, kissing her dads cheek and grabbing her bag "gotta go to school i love you, see you when you get back" she says waving and blowing a couple kisses to her father as he caught them and put them in the pocket of his shirt

"i love you more kid"

all el could do was trust her dad and wait..

hi little filler chap on el.. kind of? i've been so busy that i haven't been able to update or even have the motivation :/ enjoy !