Murder She Wrote (Book 2)

13. The Service Pt 2

Ryan's POV:

"I'm so sorry..." she began to apologize. Shock wasn't even close to describe what I'm feeling at the moment. It feels like this is all a hallucination. It's just far too bizarre to even be reality. She basically just confessed and confirmed to everything I've been warned about beforehand, by that guy at the bar. So this Michael guy is right...she did have something to do with Dr. Lanchester's death and possibly others.

I felt my throat getting dry, I could hardly think straight, let alone speak. I could hear her trying to explain herself and crying for me to listen to her. I should've seen the signs before. I knew she was hiding something.

"I didn't want to do it but it just happened. I swear to you I wouldn't intentionally hurt her for any reason. I know it wasn't the right thing to do but I panicked," she started rambling on, taking a hold of my hand. I quickly pulled away, taking a few inches back from her. She gave me a look of regret and guilt. "Please Ryan. I only done it for our safety." Luckily, the car parking lot was vacant and there wasn't anyone around us. I felt like screaming. Why?

"For our safety?" I huffed. "What could she possibly hold against you that led you to harm her?!" I shouted in disbelief. "Veronica, we're attending a memorial service for someone you killed!"

"She was threatening to report me for something I haven't even done Ryan. She was using my past life against me. I panicked, it was an accident. I didn't want anything to happen to me."

"You don't accidentally kill someone Veronica! Do you know that?!" I spat at her. "And the fact that you hid this from me! You came back that same day, and had dinner with my family! My fucking family! Pretending like nothing even happened!!!"

"I had to hide it from you. What could I possibly say to you that wouldn't cause you to leave me. I hid a lot of things about me from you because I was afraid you'd leave. I'm not perfect Ryan. My life isn't normal either but I have been trying to change for the better," she said with tears running down her face. I couldn't even stand to look at her. "I'm not the same person I was years ago. For once in my life I feel intact, and I wasn't going to let someone take everything away from me like that. I did what needed to be done."

I snapped my head back at her after hearing her last words. "You should've just came to me instead of going out your way to harm her. There's other ways to handle situations. We could've figured something out. Have you done this to other people as well?" I was hesitant to ask first.

"What?" She responded.

"Have you done this to any other person before?" I repeated myself.

"No," she was quick to answer. "I mean yes," she then corrected herself.

"You haven't changed at all," I spat at her. "All this time you've been lying to me," there was a faint of disappointment in my voice.

"I've changed. If you knew the amount of trauma I had to endure from my past life, you would take those words back," she had a single stream of tear rolling down her face.

"Then tell me the truth! For once tell me the fucking truth Veronica, so I can understand why you choose to act this way," I responded.

She stared at me for a brief second before holding eye contact with me. "My name isn't Veronica. It's Faith Reeves. Veronica is just an alias name I've been going by since I was 18. I come from a wealthy and prestigious family. I've been diagnosed with bipolar, narcissism, and sociopathy at the age of 8. Due to my mental illness, I've been kicked out of many mental institutions. My parents never loved me as a child because I was a disappointment to them. They felt as if they failed with me. All my life, I've had difficulties getting along with people. I had a hard time engaging in activities like everyone else and my parents hated me because of it. I was different. I had many impulsive behaviors that was hard for me to control which caused me to ruin many friendships and relationships. Everyone I seem to come across would always look at me a weird way. On top of that, I've been mentally and physically abused by my father, and my mother would just watch each time it happened. Every wrong doing of theirs were blamed on me. Till this day, I never understood the pure hatred they had for me. Sometimes they called me out for things I didn't even do. My social skills got worse because of the abuse. I was always seen as a monster to them. Nothing I did was good enough for them. They kept me distanced and hidden from practically the rest of my family. Over those years, they brought out a vicious side of me that I didn't like. At the age of 18, they kicked me out with no money in my pockets. I've managed to make a living under a fake name and a fake persona. I just wanted to try something that'll get people to accept me for who I am. I just wanted to bury my past because I thought it would help with whatever that was wrong with me," she explained. "It was hard navigating my way through life and controlling my bad habits. No one gave me the proper treatment, and every single second of the day I felt like I was getting worse and worse. Hurting people was the only way that made me feel powerful. I refused to be weak because I knew someone would abuse me again like my parents did. I put a barrier around myself because no one else would protect me. Everyone failed to see past my flaws and give me a chance. Until I met you Ryan...." Her sappy eyes stared into mine once again. I have to admit, I've never seen this type of emotion from her ever. I've seen some serious hurt in her face before but never to a point where it was this bad. It's difficult trying to be frustrated at what she's done and having to hear about her traumatic past. She's been through a lot, more than anyone I know...

"You completely changed my life for the better. You're the special something that I've been missing all along. You turned me into a wife and a mother. You gave me a life I've been dreaming of for so long. I just wanted to protect that life for myself. And that's the whole truth."

I know it's completely wrong for me to start feeling sympathy now but I couldn't help it. Even though there's an ugly side to her, she still has some good intentions and you can see it by the look of her eyes. She's just a person who've been hurt many times in her life and no one has taken a chance in her before. So is it wrong for me to feel this sympathy for someone who I love dearly. I mean we're talking about the mother of my child for gods sake.

What she did to Dr. Lanchester is unacceptable in every way possible but there's also a greater risk to losing her if anyone else finds out about what she did. That would mean, Xavier won't have a mother around anymore and I would lose the love of my life.

"Veronica...." I finally spoke up. "Im sorry that you went through all of that in your past life. What your parents did to you was horrible. It's clear where your impulsive behavior comes from and it seems like you still project some of that anger out on people which isn't right either. We learn and grow from our past, and you need to start controlling yourself even more. I don't think I can look at you the same anymore and I don't think I could sleep at night knowing you took someone's life and no one else knows about it...."

"I would go lengths to protect our family, and if you still have the heart to forgive and love me, then you would do the same for me too. But if you want to leave what we have because of this situation then I completely understand," she wiped the tears from her face with the sleeve of her sweater.

I sighed, "I don't want to leave you." She scrunched her face with confusion as if she wasn't expecting that answer and honestly I'm even surprised myself that I even said that. "Even if this relationship was built off of fabricated lies, it was still real from my end. I'm too in love with you to let you go. And I promised I won't leave you no matter what. And I'm a man of my words."

She sighed in relief, and wrapped her arms around me, buried her face into my chest. I took in her embrace and held her tightly.

"But if we're going to make things right, you have to promise me that you'll never attempt to do anything like this ever again in your life," I continued. She then looked up at me, still with her arms wrapped around me.

"I swear to you," She responded.

"And we have to be truthful with each other from now on. No more secrets."

"No more secrets," she repeated.

"We can just put this whole thing behind us and pretend like it never even happened," I told her. I took out my keys and prepared to walk back to the car. I didn't want to attend the memorial service at all. My guilt level was already high, having to stare at people mourning over the loss of Dr. Lanchester would just make it worse.

"What about the memorial service? They're expecting us," Veronica then asked.

"I don't think attending the service is the best idea for us right now. I'll just send over flowers through mail instead. Let's just go home," I responded.

"Okay," she said, without any other words. She put the casserole she made in the back seat and silently put on her seatbelt. I sat in the drivers car and started the engine. Momentarily, I felt Veronica's hands clutch onto mine. "Thank you..." she then said to me with a faint smile.

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