[6] Going to propose.

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a/n : hey guys, sorry about the gap in chapters between dec and ant, and david and simon. short chapter...kind of feels like this is a bit of a filler but it does have some spice...i just feel like i have to write about what Simon thinks to get this story to follow on. also working on Boy Almighty at the moment so yeah. i'm so sorry and ENJOY! <333
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Simon's POV.

1/9/25

I am so mad at him. So, so mad. I mean, Dec is my FRIEND. I deserve to know what happened. I'm glad he told me, but I'm not at all happy about how he yelled at me. I have been sat here for two hours, trying to figure out whether I'm mad or sad. I'm both. But I am so unexplainably angry, I don't know that there is a word. I guess furious is the closet. I am furious with him. Absolutely furious.
I get up off the sofa and pace up and down in thought. Does he still deserve me? I don't think so. I think I'm going to leave him, and he will be so weak that he breaks down and can't cope anymore. Yes, I am Simon Cowell. And David saw a side of me that nobody else saw. But that side has gone now.

I am mean, and I am cruel, and I need to kill any kindness left in me to show David just how over him I am. Because I am completely over him. OVER him. Him I am over. I am over HIM. Definitely. I do not love him after how he spoke to me, and he has also lost his job. Because that is showing him that I am already completely and utterly over him. And to think that I was going to propose...
Wait, I didn't mean to say that. Is there any way you can delete this? Oh dammit. I mean, I don't want anyone to know that I was going to propose to him! If I keep saying it, it will think it's a computer error and erase it, right?
I was going to propose.
I was going to propose.
I was going to propose.
Damn, it isn't working. I guess then you can all know - I was going to propose to David. I had the ring ready and everything...ok. You can probably see inside my mind anyway.
I texted him.

Simon: We're over.
David: What?
Simon: We're over, David.
Simon: I'm sick of you treating me like I am something off the bottom of your shoe.
David: We can't be over Simon.
David: I love you...
Simon: Well I don't love you anymore David.
Simon: I'm not the kind of person who will let you mess me about.
David: ...
David: I love you, Simon.
Simon: Stop repeating yourself, oh my god.
Simon: Don't bother coming to work either David.
Simon: You're fired.

I feel so much better now. I've told him that we are done, and he seems to understand.

He isn't spamming me, he's giving me space. Which is good, right? Very good...but I just wish it hadn't ended this way. It's breaking my heart to leave him, it really is, but I know that it's what I have to do.

I have to look out for me, for No.1. Because this is my life, and I should live it the way I want to. And if that means breaking up with the man who I love most...then so be it, I guess. I guess that's the way it has to be.

It will take me a while to forgive him, but when I do, I know that we will still love each other. Because although I say it, im not over him. I still love him more than ever. And I wish that we could work it out, but we can't. Not yet.

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a/n : okayyyy so ik its short but I just lost motivation for Simon's POV halfway through the chapter. i'm gonna be updating my stories on a rota, so 'Boy Almighty' will probably be updated before this. if you haven't checked it out, please do! i'm sorry to leave you guys on a cliffhanger haha.

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