All I ask

|| 01 ||

My feet faltering, taking slower smaller steps as the school came into view. I looked above at the sky because it felt as though there would be some drizzling rain. The clouds darken and felt as if it was going to start crying sometime soon. Yet, I was not in a rush but I was actually possibly waiting for a reason to go somewhere else. 

I wasn't sure when it was time for me to go to school but here I am standing at the entrance. The wide double doors seemed more menacing than it seems. Could it that my small figure is one of the reasons why I can't bring myself to open these doors? 

A shadow of another seemed to creep behind me. A hand coming from the right perceptual vision took a hold on the metal push bar. 

"Move" the voice rung out in my ears as the person behind me shoved me out of the way. It causes me to forcibly enter the school. My hand gripping the bands of my backpack. This didn't feel as though this was a wise decision as my stomach started to gurgle which made me queasy. 

My feet were ready to run in the opposite direction. However, I took my first step forward with my eyes subtly glancing around. The curious eyes of others made it feel as though there was something going on. 

I believed I was that something. Their lips were moving in angles that seemed like my names were pronounced a few hundred times. Everything felt so intense like the light from the ceiling seemed to shine like a spotlight on me. 

My feet took me somewhere. I didn't know where but it seems as though I was familiar as I counted the different classrooms. This was the English hallway. My eyes started to scan around to see different school posters. Many of the ones that stood out the most were "Stop the Hate, Stop the Bullying". 

A particular poster came to view and it was filled with dark colors. It was eye-catching as it was the only one that didn't stand out as much as the others. It held a sense of regret. My lips moved before I could process "in the honor of who exactly?".  

As I turned the corner, there were a lot of people who were crowded at the front of a classroom. It seems as though they were pushing each other around. they wouldn't do it to me, right? I would like to get into class. My palms started to sweat, they seemed so aggressive. 

I can't go to class, not like this. My eyes squeezed shut. I wanted them to go away. If only they could just go away. 

Once my eyes had opened it seemed as though they had gotten closer. I was their target now wasn't I? No, I couldn't be after all I am, invisible to people, wasn't I? 

The group of people was walking in my direction. Within the time I was frozen still as fear overtook my mind. I wanted to scream but nothing came out. Please don't come any closer.

It was useless as I couldn't control them. I glanced over to a person that had the overwhelming amount of bile from my stomach almost come out of my mouth. 

"Alice?" A name I never thought I would mutter. Pain struck it was as the female looked over only to look away. The snickers around the group started to aim towards her instead of me. 

I had placed the target on my back and taped it on her. I knew it wouldn't last long but it was good enough for me to start running. I whined as I clutched my head. It seems as the headaches are getting worse. 

I walked into the classroom holding my head a little, a bit tipsy. It raised a few questions from the teacher but they did not mention it. Instead, they went back to focusing on the work before them. They didn't mind how I had arrived a few minutes later than the bell. Even if it wasn't mentioned the bubbling fear that I would be in trouble stuck with me. I dragged my feet over to my seat, not that I was buying time but I just felt as though I could tip over with just the wind blowing.

My seat was located in the back as a view as the outside. Once seated I placed my head down in hopes to have this killer headache go away. Is there a possibility I could just end this? My eyes started to wander again as it took in this information around me. 

That's right one of my awards was posted in class. My eyes looked over to the black space that held the piece of paper I was prideful of. It doesn't seem like it was there anymore. Huh? How come? It was celebrated as one of the best works of writing from the school. There was a possibility that they had placed it somewhere else. 

After all, it feels as though it has been a while since I have been to school. My eyes started looking around again and a familiar smell was still evident. It was the scent of lavender and peppermint as it was said to be calming.  My head slowly muddled as my eyes fluttered shut.