Desert Siren

Twenty-Two

The sides of the mountains soared high overhead, trapping the cohort between them. Jayza shivered slightly, feeling confined. She had never seen real mountains before her capture and had no idea what a pass was, never mind what it looked like. But what they now traveled was not at all what she expected. She drew back slightly, unconsciously seeking comfort from the man behind her.

"Cold?" Tavan asked quietly, his arms tightening slightly.

"No. It's just that this not at all what I pictured. I feel...small." She shivered again, casting nervous glances at the walls around them. She wondered how often rocks fell and if they would have enough warning if one did.

"And what were you expecting?" Tavan's voice was kind and he seemed genuinely interested in her answer. He had slept yesterday until Jayza woke him, looking much more rested when he rose. After Last Meal the night before, he had retired to the tent instead of walking the camp. Ushering Jayza into bed early, he pulled her close, holding her hand as he spoke quietly. Jayza had remained silent, surprised at what he had to say. Initially, she had expected him to discuss what to expect when they entered the pass. When she realized that wasn't his intention, she tensed, thinking he was going to start offering declarations of love. Instead, he told her about himself. He told her about his childhood. About growing up on the banks of The Glimmerglass River. About the sister he had lost, drowned while on family holiday to the Great Blue when she was twelve and he was ten. About his father's overwhelming grief at not being able to save her and his abandonment of him and his mother when he could no longer deal with those feelings, leaving them for the Legions when Tavan turned twelve and dying in a skirmish on the border of Ar-chim. And about how his mother had fought with him when he announced he was going to be Raptor at the age of fifteen.

"Fifteen! What in the Seven Lands were you thinking?" Jayza had straightened, looking at him in surprise.

"That I needed to do something." Tavan smiled down at her, but his face was grim and there was resentment in his eyes. "My father's death left a huge hole in our lives. Scrip was tight and getting tighter. My mother had learned midwife skills, delivering babies near our home. But it wasn't enough, and we often survived for weeks on one meal a day. The Legions, especially the Raptors, offered scrip above what I would have made doing anything else. And they offered security. Unless you're killed while carrying out orders or are disciplined like I had to do with Rufus, you remain a Raptor until you are too old to fight any more. When that happens, you retire with a generous allotment of land and scrip, able to live out your remaining days comfortably."

"That's why you are so unwilling to thwart the Emperor, isn't it? Because if you're charged with treason, everything you've earned will be confiscated, leaving your mother destitute." Jayza's sudden insight into his motives behind becoming a Raptor raised her respect for him even more. She had come to wonder why a man who so obviously abhorred the cruelties he was forced to commit would continue. His obvious worry over his mother's fate explained a lot and she wondered how often he had trouble reconciling his actions with his beliefs.

"One of the reasons, yes. It's why the Emperor knew he could force me to carry out his wishes despite my personal feelings. Because not only would I be sent back to Thagim, but my mother would lose everything and probably die a beggar in one of the cities in Zuchel."

"What happened when your father died? Didn't your mother receive anything from that?" Jayza had always heard that the survivors of Legionnaires who died in the line of duty received not only full pay up until the date of death, but a severance intended to help see them through for a months after.

"No. As I said, my father was unable to deal with the grief my sister's death caused. Before enlisting, he was already drinking more than he had before. After joining, the drinking got worse and he took up gambling to try and pay for it, running out of scrip before his next pay arrived. When he died, he was heavily in debt and the scrip that would have gone to my mother went to the people he owed instead."