Reality

Chapter 28

I wipe the tears from my eyes and wash my face one more time.

"Do you need anything?" Karenina asks.

I shake my head. "No, thanks."

I walk out of the restroom and make my way back to the table where I left my stuff, and Liz is there waiting for me.

"Cath, I'm so sorry-" she begins.

"It's not your fault. I don't want to talk about it," I say, a little on the angry side.

Liz just nods and purses her lips.

I search the cafeteria for Ethan, and I find him alone, sitting in his usual table like nothing I just saw ever happened.
I catch a glimpse of a silver chain around his neck... Could it be? The other half... to the one I have?

I roll my eyes. Like it matter anymore.

Then I search for Brittany, but I don't find her, not even her minions are anywhere to be seen.

She's probably fixing her lipstick or something. I bet it's really messed up.

I stay silent for the rest of lunch. Liz tries to make small talk but it didn't really work out. I wasn't in the mood. All there was to fill the silence between us was her gum bubbles popping. Once the bell rings, I walk without a word to class.

I sit down at a desk in the middle row. The front is too risky, and in the back I never pay attention.

There are a couple of new students in the class, being the first day back from break and all.

I look down at my lap then reluctantly get out my binder and prepare myself for class.

The seat next to me was empty, until a few minutes later and guy sits down. I look at him curiously as he gets out his stuff. I notice he is watching me stare at him.

"Sorry," I mumble and look away. The boy wasn't short, but didn't look too much taller than me either. He had greenish brown eyes and he looked younger than the other kids.

"It's fine," the boy laughs. I don't turn, and I just go through the class, studying my classmates to see if I recognize any new ones. A girl, but I've never seen her before, and obviously the boy next to me, but that's about it.

The day dragged on, it was awful. Nothing to keep me busy. Nothing to stop my mind from wandering back to Ethan's blond curls...Or his blue eyes like the waves in the ocean that offer peace and safety, like even if I'm lost in them, I know I'll be alright. I just keep thinking about him and how unfair it is, spending all your energy on thinking and hoping and wishing for things that won't happen. Then there's what's worse. That person you want so badly is probably not even thinking about you right now. I guess that's just how life is, but that doesn't mean I have to agree with it.
***
I plug in my headphones and listen to songs that describe my current mood.

I just don't understand. How can someone tell you they love you, and move on so quickly? Even if he didn't move on, how can he kiss her like that? A kiss isn't just something you give away. Why does he act like it is? Ugh, it wasn't even a kiss. He was basically swallowing her face.

I shake my head and open my Instagram and scroll through my feed.

I'm humming to the tune of the song and laughing at a vine I just saw when I see it. Oh no.

Brittany posted a picture of her off somewhere with Ethan, playing his guitar. I stare at the picture and look at Ethan's smiling face, his dimples showing and looking adorable. And Brittany right next to him. I stare at the background as my heart shatters. It's.. It's the clearing, the one where he played the song for me. The clearing where he told me he loved me. The clearing where he kissed me.