Northern Lights

Chapter 4: Blurred Lines

It's been three days since I last saw Rome, but thankfully he messaged me in between those days. He's been spending a lot of time with Mahdi and doing his online college. I don't want to sound desperate and ask him to come over, but I also didn't want us to be a one time thing. I want more time with him and I feel like I'm racing the clock. It's stressful when you know your time is limited. It's eleven at night and I can't help myself but to message him asking if he wants to come over. It's not the best timing, but maybe he's bored and wants company is what I tell myself to feel better about the situation. What if he thinks I'm desperate for attention because I waited till the late hours of the night to ask him to come over. Rome messaged back and said he'd be over in a few minutes. I could feel relief start to fall upon me, but I still questioned if he thought I was desperate for him. I also questioned myself if I was desperate for him, but before I dabbled too much in that thought I reminded myself he was here for my benefit.

When he came over we went straight to my room and laid on my bed while I just curled myself into him without thinking twice about it. It's honestly insane the amount of safety I feel when I'm next to him. My  room smelled of sweet essence from my vanilla marshmallow candle from bath and body works. The lights were off and the only light we had came from the dancing flame. I got under the covers and put my legs over his as I wrapped myself around him. He took his arm and placed it around me. His eyes looked down at me and softened as they made contact with mine. They say brown eyes aren't pretty, but whoever said that hasn't seen them glow under a candle lit room. You can see the light dance upon the many shades of amber and gold the brown hides, it's miraculous. In those moments they are more beautiful than blue eyes. I never thought I'd be put in a trance by a brown eyed boy. His skin smells of a cologne that was different than his last one, something expensive. The rich smell blended with that of the candle and it's become my new favorite scent. His hands move my hair out of my face as he pulls me into him. His lips part mine and he tastes like burnt sugar and vodka, my lips take refuge on his. A taste I'm growing to love. His lips are always cold to the touch and something about it makes me crave them more. He pulls his lips from mine and he looks at me with admiration. I never had a guy look at me like that, so I break his stare by saying "How was your day?". He smiles as if he knew I was afraid to be looked at the way he just looked at me. "It was okay, I had taco bell right before I came here," he stated. For a while we went back and forth with small talking about how terrible American food is for you, but how ridiculously good it can be. 

As the night went on my eyes began to get heavy as sleep was waiting to welcome me. Before I could drift asleep Rome told me he had something he wanted to show me. He showed me pictures and videos of the places he's traveled and where he's lived. He spoke a little bit about Romania and explained how he sometimes lives with his Uncle in Norway. He said he worked at a market of some sort when he lives in Norway. I know he could tell how captivated I was when he spoke of Norway and I told him it was a place I've always dreamt of going to. I always wanted to experience the Northern Lights and watch them dance in the sky. Of course, he had photos of that too. "I wish I could live your life, you've seen the world." I say as I'm in awe of what he's shown me. "I haven't been to all the places I want to go to, I still have a lot left to see. You should travel." He stated as he continued to scroll through pictures on his phone. "Maybe one day! I would love to explore the world and experience different cultures." I tell him as I rest my head on his shoulder. "Traveling is good for you. You'll love it." He says as he presses his lips to my forehead. Secretly I wished to myself that one day I would be traveling with him. He then proceeded to tell me about his life and how he recently broke up with his girlfriend. He told me how he had also dated her friend and asked if I thought he was wrong for it. He went on to explain how the other girl broke up with him, so It wasn't as bad as it sounded. He proceeded to showed me a picture of his ex and she was stunningly gorgeous. She looked like his type. Beautiful people belong together. I just wish seeing a photo of her didn't make me so insecure. I looked nothing like this girl. She looked arab and had the beautiful skin he had. I was pale with auburn/red hair. I was nothing like her, the closest to tan skin I had was the freckles that covered me. "Why did y'all break up?" I ask hoping I'd like the answer. He didn't really give me an answer but he answered me by saying, "I need to focus on myself. I'm going to travel for a while." I'm not sure if that answer was fitting or if it made me sad. I like that he's focusing on himself, but that tells me he isn't looking to get into something else. Stop what am I doing? I don't want to be in a relationship. This is confirmation that it's meant to only be a month thing. "Why are you single? No boy that is after you?" he asks with an eager grin. I shake my head in disapproval of his question, but I suppose if he told me his story I owe him mine. " I haven't dated anyone since I was seventeen. I've been in a situationship with this guy I really cared about for the past two year, but that's over now. We didn't officially date, but it surely felt like we did." I say while trying to avoid eye contact with Rome. "Why didn't you date him? He must not have a nice accent." Rome says trying to regain my eye contact. I smile at him before I say, "Sometimes I think people need a warm body so they aren't alone, so they mimic what is needed to ensure that. I was his warm body. I saw potential in us and I worked for that potential, but he just saw what he needed. At the end of the day, I can't be angry with him. I think sometimes I treated him like my own warm body. So I guess basically I have been single since I was seventeen." Rome looks intrigued with my statement, but I can't tell if it's in a good or bad way. "Tell me about the boy you dated when you were seventeen." He says bluntly. There was no enthusiasm in this voice this time. "We dated a few months and I broke up with him. He was cruel to me verbally and I wasn't going to settle for that. One time he got physical with me and I knew it wouldn't change. I've been doing like you and working on myself" I say while rubbing my hands up and down his arms. Something about that boy makes my nerves bad. Rome starts laughing and it kinda annoys me. I'm not sure what is funny about what I said. "I've been single less than a year so I can work on myself, you've been single a long time you worked too much on yourself." he says while laughing at me. As much as I don't want to laugh,I can't deny it.