demons aren't real

one

In the year 2016, Lucifer cast his nephew out of hell, forcing him to live among the humans and "get a real job," as he said. Luckily for him, LA was full of viable options. So naturally, he chose the only one that could possibly expose him as a demon.

                                  •••

Shane sips his beer, observing the people milling about the dimly-lit bar. The young Prince of Hell had always loved people-watching, especially in places like this where their inhibitions and guards were lowered. He thinks it's pretty funny, seeing them stumble over themselves and slurring their words together. Demons weren't quite as susceptible to the effects of alcohol, which was why Shane had already drunk five glasses of beer and was still sipping.

"I don't know, man," a distressed voice says, catching Shane's attention. The speaker is a medium-sized human with dark hair, sitting opposite from a slightly taller man. "This show could be fuckin' great, but something isn't working right. It's never gonna take off like this."

His colleague nods sympathetically. "I know you're set on making Buzzfeed Unsolved a thing, but, y'know, maybe it was just never meant to be." He takes another swig of his beer.

"Don't say that! It's going to be great, I swear, I just need to get this off the ground and then I can start with the—"

His colleague waves a hand dismissively. "The ghost hunting, yes, I know, Ryan, you've told me about this many times. You would need someone to join you or else it would just be an insane guy talking to nothing." Shane's interest is piqued by the mention of ghost hunting. He's in need of a job, and he's dealt with plenty of ghosts in his time; aside from being a demon, he's the perfect fit for this job!

"I know. I know," Ryan mutters sadly. "It's not like some dude is just gonna, like, show up out of nowhere to join my stupid ghost hunting thing."

Au contraire, Shane thinks, I am showing up out of nowhere to join your stupid ghost hunting thing.

He waits until the men leave, and then corners the tall one in an alleyway outside the bar. From there he gathers information on the workplace of him and the other man, and how to get an interview. Surprising how accommodating humans become when you flash a little fang here or a red eye there.

Someone better call Uncle Luci, 'cause his least favourite nephew's about to get a real job.

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authors note: yeah this ones gonna fuckin suck i am... so sorry.