lovin u

Chapter 4 What was I thinking

Ethan and I were really in love. He has a good job and the kids love him. He taught Liz to ride a bike and Abi to swim. He love art and music. He can really sing. He is teaching me to play the gituar. At least when he is at home. He is a truck driver. He is always gone. He is in Florida right now. Sometimes he let me go with him while the girls are with our friends. Then I get on a plane and come back because I miss the girls. We are all going together this summer. We are suppose to be going to Maine. I hope I see my sister and brother. It is sad that I haven't seen them in a long time. I wish we did meet a lot. I miss them even though I haven't seen them in like 25 years. I wonder do they think about me like I think about them. I wonder do they remember me? Im the youngest. If I remember them they should remember me. My sister is the oldest. She is 5 years older than me. She is 33. My brother is 32. We are old I know. I just wish I could see them at least one more time to at least say hi and remember how they are. I miss them so much and I don't even really know them.
The kids just walked in from school. They are so happy school is almost over just a few more days then they would be in my hometown. I hate that they have so long to go. I want to go now. I think I am more excited then they are. I just miss everything about it. I haven't been there since I ran away from the foster home I was in. I snuck on a bus. We went way to Virginia. Then I snuck on a different one trying to get back but ended up in Louisiana. That's where I've been every since. I was 12 when that happened.
"Momy." Liz said. "When is daddy coming home?"
"He'll be back in a few days so we can pack and go to Maine."
"Ok."
Did I tell you, Liz hasn't fought anyone in five months. That is very good because she is also on the honor roll. All she needed was a little love.
Abi is an all a student. She is the same but she has had a few issues. She was getting bullied but Liz stopped that before I could do anything about it. Other than that she is the same happy girl. And she said she has gotten to old for doll. She needs bears now.
I am doing good too. I got a new job as a fashion designer. I like that job so much. It is so my style. I love how they use most of my ideas. That's the best part about the job. I still go to the daycare. Just as a volunteer now. I mean when I'm not working or busy. Its fun to just to help out. Its really fun to just sit and listen to the kids then when they are hurt you can be there to pick them up. I hate to see the kids so depressed.
"Momy can I go to Hannah's house she wants to play with my dolls."
"Is your homework done? And your hair brushed? Then you have to clean yor room."
"Liz doing it"
"Why aren't you helping?"
"I'm going to do her hair."
"Well then no if you don't help your sister. "
"She said she was going to do it."
"Go Abi."
"Hurry before it get to late."
"Can I spend a night?"
"Not tonight. Tomorrow."
You're mean momy!"
She ran to her room and slammed the door. She is so grown for her age. I hate that she call me mean. That is one thing I am not. She is just pure rude.

* * * *
When we got to Maine I was so excited. Long time no see. It was so beautiful. I can't believe I ever left such a state. It was like my life all over again. I started to jump in my seat. I couldn't sit still. It was to exciting. How could I?
"Welcome to my hometown!"
"That's good that you miss it. You can move back if you want."
"No. Abi and Liz have to many friends."
"Well we can come every summer."
"Really? What if you have to go and work in a different state?"
"Then we'll come when we can."
"That is much better. We can go out on a date. We haven't been on one of those in a long time."
"Who's going to watch the kids?"
"I didn't think like that."
"I see."
"What's that suppose to mean?"
"What I said."
"Well you didn't have to get smart about it."
"Ok. Stop talking to me."
That made me angry. Why was he mad? What did I do? Did I say something wrong? Why is he making me feel guilty. God help please.
"Fine. I didn't mean to say that. I didn't think like that. I just though since we haven't been on a date in a long time we should."
"Well don't say things before you think about it."
"Ok."
He knows how I feel about people screaming at me. He knows I am very sensitive. 'He is worser than Tony.'
He looked at me. He was so depressed. How could he feel this way when he just hurt my feelings. I just thought he would treat me right. He shouldn't be the one depressed.
"Do you really think that?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm worser than your ex."
That made me look at him
"Who told you that?"
"You just did when you were talking about me. I guess you were suppose to be talking in your head. But you weren't."
"I don't think that. I again wasn't thinking like that. I guess that's why you told me to think before I speak."
"We sho uld go on a date. You and me alone."
"Who's going to watch the kids?"
"I can figure something out."
"I guess."
When we got to the hotel I went to bed. I was in pain. My head hurted so bad and my stomach was cramping. Traveling is not for me. Why would they let me do that? I just remembered it was my night to put Abi and Liz in the tub. That made me sit up.
"Ethan!" Was he gone? He did have to go tale the boxes wherever they're suppose to go. No he was just getting the bags out the truck. He just walked in.
"Ethan"
"What Baby?"
"Can you get me some water?"
"Sure baby."
"Can you put Abi and Liz in the tub?"
"No Baby. I have to go."
"Please. I'll love you forever. I promise. Please Ethan."
"I will put them in then I will leave."
"You have to make sure they bath."
"No you have to make sure they bath. I have to do my job."
"No. Its a family vacation. We need to have fun together."
"We will. I have to get these boxes where they go."
"No. Ethan. You to spend time with us to. You can't just work all the time."
"Well if you want us to stay in the house we are in you would let me do my job."
"Fine."
"You are so complicated."
"There is no such thing as an uncomplicated relationship."
"Fine. I get it. You thought I was just suppose to come here and have fun. Right?"
"No that's not what I thought. I just thought maybe you would actually be with us for a few weeks then you would start to work."
"No. The oxes have to be where they go by today. Then they will fill the truck up and I have to send that to the next place. That usually takes a few weeks until I'm done."
"You are a real pain in the ass. You should've told me that you were going to be working the whole time."
"I did tell you that. I said it the day we left to come here. You said it was fine. So don't blame me for this whole thing."
"Ethan you can at least spend some time with us."
"I have a job. Mary. What am I going to do? I don't make my schedule. I know you came on this trip to spend time with me but I have a job to do. I can't just not do my job to be with you and the kids."
"OK! I don't care anymore!"
He went to the bathroom, ran Abi and Liz's water, put them in, and left. The girls and I will just do things without him.