Life from different perspectives

second option

Always the second option
No matter for who
If you're even an option to them that is
Parents
Friends
Teachers
Family
Everyone
Always the disappointment
The burden
The annoying one
The useless one
The mistake
The extra

So how does it feel like to be the second option?
I can't really answer that
It's just the same, always the same
No matter the situation
Always the second option
It feels..lonely if that's the correct word
It feels like you shouldn't be here, like you're not as needed as much as everyone else
So how does it feel to know you're the second option to everyone?
It feels sad, but oddly relieving?
It feels nice to know that they would probably not miss you if something were to happen?
It feels sour but sweet?
But in reality, you're not even existing to them
You're just the vermin that they want to exterminate
Nothing more
Nothing less
It's just life
Nothing you can do about it
There's nothing you can do to change it so you might as well put up with it and wait
Wait until it ends
Wait until you finally disappear without a trace
Wait until all that will be left of you will be a few photos at most
That's it
It might sound sad but that's how it is
Such a selfish disgusting creature you are
Always being jealous of something you can't have
How pathetic
It makes me sick
You're hurt but you won't reach out afraid that someone might try to help but tell everyone
You don't want them to feel shitty because of you're problems, do you now?
Of course not
You don't want to be a burden to them
So you keep it all inside
How depressing
How pitiful
Truly, you'll always be the second option and we both know that